The Slick Guy

homecoming pic

2005-09-24T14:04:00.000-05:00

Well, this is one picture of me at homecoming.. I'm going to try to get some other pictures that were taken of me.. but this is pretty much all I have of me on my camera.

Nate

the poem heather requested

2005-09-13T20:43:00.000-05:00

ok, heather had requested that I send put this poem on my blog.. so that's what I'm doing.. it's the one that I wrote to ask Melissa to the homecoming banquet.

This place is so strange with the people so new
Everyone is all so unfamiliar
Homework abounding with so much to do
I hope this quest will not be a failure

This perilous task of which I now partake
Could end in great triumph or sorrow
You could simply tell me go jump in a lake
Or I hope I don’t see you tomorrow

You could tell me to take a long walk off a pier
You could tell me to send a kite soaring
You could tell me to wrestle an 800 pound steer
Who knows (least that wouldn’t be boring)

However, if I should succeed on this day
And the end to this endeavor is happy
It would make the writing of this poem okay
Though doubtless it is very sappy

So, dear Melissa the question I’m here to pose
Is with me will you go to the banquet homecoming?
Perhaps I should have given a rose
But I thought my prose was more stunning

anyway, that was the poem.. let me know what you think.

Nate

Me and Mr. Rogers

2005-06-26T22:25:00.000-05:00

I must say, I haven't always had the highly developed skill of reading people, and seeing their emotions through body language etc. In fact, it wasn't until I really started working at one of our local "fast food" establishments that I really began to aquire my incredible skill of seeing people and knowing what you are thinking. (and for those of you who actually know me... you can stop laughing now.)

For example...

When I was a young'un we didn't have a TV. Well, in all actuality we did end up getting one shortly after my 8th b-day.. but we were never really allowed to watch much. I think my parents thought it would make us stupid and lazy. We needed to use our imaginations more etc. etc.

Each of us kids got two hours a week that we could watch TV, and I tried to figure the best way I could spend my time. I found a show that my parents actually liked, "Mr. Rogers Neighborhood" and I would spend half an hour of my time watching it four days a week.

Part of the reason I would watch this show was also because my mom thought it was somewhat educational and so she would let me watch the fifth show (it was on monday-friday) even though I didn't have the time.. so I figured it out, and I was making out like a bandit getting an extra 30 minutes a week. which is like 2 hours a month, and 24 hours a year. WHOOHOO. lucky me.

Well, I knew this one guy, Robert. He had moved in next door to live with his grandparents. We had a lot of fun hanging out, watching TV, playing games in the back yard etc... Well, one day we were hanging out and my favorite show was about to come on. I had just found out about this show and was really excited about it. (it's actually somewhat common for me to initally get quite excited about something, and then to have that enthusiasm wane off shortly there after.)

Realizing that it was indeed almost 3 o'clock I tried to drag him into the room with the TV. at first he asked me what we were going to watch, and I responded in my angelic fashion "you'll see" he wasn't entirely convinced but, I wasn't going to tell him, I wanted him to discover on his own just how marvelous the show was.

We sat down on the couch and started watching, I was really excited, and kept looking over at him, for some reason he wasn't really smiling a whole lot. But, I must have just been imagining it, cause the show was fantastic, I mean, who wouldn't like it?

after a few minutes he started to get up, I guess he was going to try and leave, but I wasn't about to let that happen. so I grabbed his arm, and insisted, wait wait.. where are you going?

I was able to force him to stay for a few minutes before he finally made his getaway.

I never did watch TV with him again, every time I would mention it he would have to go home and help his mom wash her hair or something like that.

I guess he thought as a 14 year old that he was too old for Mr. Rogers... Silly Boy...

Nate

Hegira

2005-06-18T16:20:00.000-05:00

Hegira - a journey especially when undertaken to escape from a dangerous or undesirable situation

He had found her when she was just a young'un. It appeared that she had runaway from wherever she had come from, but he really didn't care. She was with him now. He had always wanted to ride a horse (like me), but he never had the opportunity until she just appeared that day.

At first he had hidden her in the family barn, he kept her well fed, and he played with her daily. Before long he began to try to saddle her. Amazingly enough she took right to it. and within days he was riding her around. He would take her through the woods, and cliche though it may sound he and she began to think as one.

Chloe, as was soon her name, was a magnificant horse, and the boy realized it immediately. She seemed to have an endurance that lasted forever. It was obvious, and clear that she had been well bred, as one who has experience with horses can easily tell.

Thus sam began to feel a little bit uneasy about keeping this horse where it was, but he was still a kid, and didn't want to give up what his life long dream had been. "Besides" he would tell himself "if anyone comes here and asks for her back I will give her to them" in fact, he felt so strongly about this that he made it a vow to himself.

A few months later he was reading through the paper, and he noticed an add in the paper. It was talking about a thouroughbred horse, that had been missing from a nearby farm. He immediately knew that this other farm is where Chloe came from, and he quickly got on his boots and started out the door, ready to go get her, and take her back to where she belonged.

However, as many of us do, he began to rationalize things in his mind. He realized that even though the horse had been advertised in the paper the owners of the horse hadn't asked him to return the horse to their care. Rather they had asked the paper... and he hadn't promised himself that if the paper had done it... etc.

Though he still had a somewhat guilty conscience he quickly hustled back inside, took off his boots and hid them from his sight. He also took the newspaper which his family always kept neatly folded on the kitchen table, and ripped up that section.

That night, when his dad got home he asked Sam what had happened to the paper. Usually being an honest child Sam responded that he had ripped it up. His dad asked why, and Sam hesitated, but quickly spilled the beans as to what had happened. He then tried to convince his dad that it was the best situation for the horse anyway, as Sam was taking great care of the horse.

His dad however had also read that section earlier, and knowing that they had the horse on their little farm had talked to the owner of the nearby farm thinking that possibly they might be able to buy it from them, for he knew how much his son loved this horse. It turned out however that not only is this horse quite well taken care of it is also quite valuable to the owner.

Early the next morning Sam got up and trudged over to where he had hidden his boots, got on his rain slicker, and went out to the horse. His dad had made sure he knew he had to return the horse today, and so he was going to walk him over there. as they walked together the rain began to fall from the sky, and Sam's mood couldn't match the weather any more perfectly. But here he was walking what had been his life's dreams away.

Deep down he knew that what he was doing was probably the best thing for this Chloe. He couldn't give her everything that she deserved, even though he may want to. and at least he knew that he was taking her back to a place where she would be well taken care of.

When he made it to the farm the owners came out, and invited him in for supper. He immediately began to like them, as they seemed to be quite nice and honest folks. He felt really bad for keeping Chloe for as long as he did.

After dinner he made his way back out to their barn and attempted to say his final farewell to her. She quickly realized that he was leaving, and began to whimper and complain that he was leaving her. He had a difficult time doing it, but as he was becoming a man.. he took one last look at her and walked out the door.

All the way home the rains kept pouring, and much as he hated to admit it, there were tears running down his face as he realized what he had just given up. The situation of leaving Chloe was horrible, but it needed done. and this was his journey home. Once he got home, it was over. The tears had ceased to fall, even though he constantly thought about what had once been.

Eventually his parents did let him get another horse, though all that helped to do was to bring back memories of Chloe, his one hope was that she still remembered him.

Nate

I knew it all

2005-05-25T17:25:00.000-05:00

When I was a kid I had everything figured out.

I knew from that time that what I did in my first 20 years on earth, would greatly influence the rest of my life, so I decided to make the best of it.

I was a very logical 6 year old boy, and I knew certain things, such as that most people get married. and therefore I probably would too.

Knowing that this was the case, I logically decided that I should become the best guy out there that a woman would want.

I remember at church, which just happened to be about the only place that I really ever came in contact with females of about the same age as me, I would stand outside the door, and open it for the little girls that would come through. Of course, as I do now, I had a little bit of a competitive streak in me, and when I would see guys coming in, I would often shut the door on them, or something equally as horrid and despicable (granted I don't do that any more... I'm much more devious nowadays).

Then, as we would be about to sit down at our table in order to tell the teacher our verses that we had dutifully learned throughout the week, I would immidately pull the chairs out for the girls (as opposed to other boys that would pull the chairs out from underneath the girls). After all, I had heard this was the polite thing to do, so that's what I did.

As with everything that I am interested in, I decided that I needed to do some research. Unfortunately, this was before the internet was really in existence, so I had to resort to other methods. I remember my mom would listen to certain shows on the radio that focused on relationships and stuff, at least, those were the ones that I actually paid attention to.

I went beyond just listening to the radio though, I would read. My mom had a bookshelf full of romance novels, and I would finish my school early, sit down, and read 2-3 of these novels a day. I realized they had a lot of good ideas in them, so, I began taking notes, which I actually still have, somewhere.

I also took careful note of what it was that girls seemed to really enjoy. and I noticed two things in particular.. one was that I observed that women seemed to like chick flicks. and the other was that girls liked to dance.. so, as is clearly the case, I started liking chick flicks. And since that time I have always wanted to learn how to dance.

See, I had it all figured out.

Why can't more people be like me?

Nate

Only thing common in relationships

2005-05-14T12:26:00.000-05:00

The only thing common in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you. (quote.. not sure who it's by.. if anyone knows.. please let me know)

what an uplifting statement right? well, to me it is, but, I think I'll get into why later. that is if I feel like being especially generous.

The statement itself looks kind of obvious. I mean, obviously if it's your relationship then you're the one that's in all of them. ethough.. there are relationships where a person might have a bunch of seperate dissatisfying relationships with the same person, but that's kind of straying from the main point of what I'll be getting at.

It seems I talk to people quite often, or hear conversations.. or in what is obviously the most accurate media in the world, see on television people talking about how everything they do is the other persons fault. or they might say that no matter what they do they just can't find another guy/girl who will give them what they need. In many of these cases I hear stuff like, how come every guy is a jerk? and they're all so jealous they never trust me. etc. etc.

that's where I think this quote comes in handy. If one looks at it, the thing I think it's trying to say is, look at how you're treating others in a relationship. Look at the kind of people that you're looking for, but most of all, just look at who you are to them.

for instance.. I heard once, and I agree, that prior to looking for a woman, a guy should try to make himself the type of man that is worthy of the type of woman he wants. Meaning, he should learn to be patient, to be caring, to be trusting to be honest to be faithful etc.. prior to beginning a relationship. It seems to me that if you're not.. one of two things will happen (there're more possibilities.. but these are what comes to mind)

1.) You will get into a relationship and there will be serious problems.. with thing for instance I was talking about before. trust, jealousy.. etc.

2.) You will attract a person who is like you. Now, I know that sounds weird.. but who really wants to be in a relationship with another person when both of them are not able to be trusted etc.

I think that either way there will be serious problems, it's not really worth it.. whereas if you become the man/woman that is worthy of the type of guy/gal you want, there is a much better chance of a positive outcome of the relationship.

Now, I don't have a whole lot of experience.. I've not really been in many relationships.. but the ones that I have been in, have lasted. While they do end some times, rarely have any of those serious problems ever occured.

that's why I like the quote.. because if the only thing common in all of your dissatisfying relationships is you.. then the opposite must be true..

The only thing common in all of your satisfying relationships is you.

Nate

Cepillarse

2005-05-04T22:53:00.001-05:00

Jim had always wanted a puppy. and he could have one, the problem was that Jim wanted a special kind of puppy. What he really wanted above everything else was a hunting dog.

There were some dogs that he had seen in the local hunting magazine that were for sale, but, to his parents the price they were asking was astronomical. There was no way on earth they could buy this dog for him.

however it wasn't long before Jim did get a dog, though this one wasn't on the cover of some magazine. it was a poor beaten up little pup, found on a roadside ditch near his house. Even though this puppy wasn't a hunting dog Jim took care of it anyway, and soon the puppy was on his feet and eagerly running about the house.

Before to long, it became apparent that this puppy had an affinity for hunting, he loved it, and he was also quite good at it. shortly there after Jim realized that perhaps his dreams of having a hunting dog wasn't impossible.

He began to train this dog which he affectionately named cepillarse (cep for short) to hunt, of course he had a slight problem... he had never trained a dog to hunt before, and naturally didn't know a thing about it. So the next chance he got his parents to take him to the library where he found some hunting books, and before one could snap his fingers twice and whistle howdedoo he had read through them all.

Jim put his life into Cep, he would stay up late at night, thinking of what else he could.. or making devices he could use that would aid in the training of Cep. Every day he would work with Cep, train cep to the best of his abilities.

There were ups and downs, but before long Cep began to make great strides in his hunting abilities, It seemed to Jim that Cep was probably the greatest hunting dog in the world. Sure he didn't really have much to compare Cep to, but he did know that Cep was pretty good.

One day he heard about a hunting tournament, and he decided to enter Cep into such said tournament. the days leading up to this tournament with a lot of preparation, but Jim was confident as Cep was just getting better and better.

The tournament went, and Jim quickly realized how much of an advantage some of these other dogs had on Cep, I mean... they were taller, stronger, had been bred since pups to be hunting dogs, and here was Cep... found in a box on a roadside ditch, still kinda small... scrawny.

Even so Jim was right about one thing.. Cep was good... in fact he was so good that eventually he took home the 3rd place trophy.

One thing Jim did know is that no matter what he wouldn't give up Cep, while he wasn't perfect, and with the money from the tournament he could afford to get a puppy that had been bred for hunting, there was no other puppy that could compare with Cep.

All good things must come to an end though, and within a year Cep came down with tapeworm, and eventually died. there was nothing that could be done about it, they caught it too late, and Cep died, as was custom in their family, when someone important died they would bury him/her in the back yard somewhere, and would plant a tree on top of him, as a reminder of the life that was once lived.

Jim continued training hunting dogs throughout his life, and he did become exceptionally skilled at it, training champion after champion. He knew how to train dogs to become the best that they could become.. to reach their full potential...

Shortly after retirement a reporter from "Horse and Hound" interviewed him, and one of the questions was... with all of the dogs you have raised, and trained...which one was your favorite. Surely the reporter couldn't help but think of Shadow, who had won the medal after medal, and had won the southern states championship. Or Brilliant Sunset who seemed to be everything that anyone could ever want in a dog, not only was that dog an awesome hunting dog, he was also an incredible companion (as it was well known).

However, Jim didn't answer that, he simply turned and looked at the beautiful tree that was growing in his back yard, and without hesitating he said it was Cepillarse, or Cep.

The reporter didn't really know what to think about this.. he had to check through his notes.. see who exactly this Cep was.

The reporter asked a follow up question.. "what was so special about Cep?"

He was the first dog that I ever truly cared for, I poured my life into that dog, and I would give anything to have him back.

Snakeball

2005-05-03T13:54:00.000-05:00

sigh, to be young again.. And not be scared of anything. Well, that's not exactly true, I was scared of lots of things when I was younger, just most of those things weren't actually dangerous.

When I was younger every year or two my parents would take us as a family to go visit my Grandma at the farm in Kansas. For most of my memories we would all get packed into a maroon station wagon and drive for 8 hours till we finally arrived... Stopping every 100 miles to fill the car up with oil.

If not for the fact that I cannot fall asleep while traveling the trips might not have been so long to me. , being awake all day while in the non airconditioned car, seemed to take forever..

Like any sane child, my favorite thing to say once I saw that we were in Kansas was "Are we there yet?" and "how much longer?" I think this would drive my parents nuts.. Though after a while they would start saying.. We're getting there. From then on, I would be intently watching through the windows. I always wanted to be the first one to see the farm (as you can probably tell.. I'm a little bit competitive).

Eventually (long after my parents started saying we're getting there) we would arrive at my grandmothers house. Being a relative youngster... and always wanting things to do, I would get bored quite quickly at that house. There were only so many hours that I could play with the marbles from the can, or sit around listening to the old people talk. There was also the problem that we weren't supposed to play with the dogs, I'm not sure why not.. it just wasn't allowed.

On one fateful afternoon my older brother and I went outside, trying to stir up trouble. Well, more exactly, we went outside cause we got bored of watching my mom and grandma play checkers (that was pretty hilarious actually.. Mom was red so she had her red checkers on the red squares.. and grandma was black, so she had her black checkers on the black squares... they couldn't figure out why they could never jump anybody.)

As we were outside (and I must say it was sweltering out... not that has anything to do with the story) throwing the baseball around I started to hear an unusual sound. I would occasionally glance around trying to find it, but I didn't see where it was coming from. Just to make sure I wasn't going crazy, I asked my brother if he heard it as well, he said he didn't.. but then when he got a little closer to me he did start to hear it a little bit. Neither of us still saw it, so we continued on throwing the ball around.

Before long Gabe made a wild throw (actually I can't remember who it was that did, I just like to blame Gabe for it) and when going to pick up the ball we noticed where the sound was coming from. There was this little snake, probably about a foot long if uncoiled and he (mighta been a she, who knows.. not me) rattle on the back of the tail. I knew enough to know that I didn't want to get bitten by the snake, so both Gabe and I stood about five feet back.

He mentioned that perhaps we should go in and get dad, because he'd know what to do, but being the conscientious little brother that I was, I dutifully reminded him that dad was taking a nap... and we probably shouldn't disturb him. (something that my dad definitely didn't appreciate later on).

We knew we had to do something, so being the geniuses that we were, we attempted to throw our baseball at the snake, I mean... we were pretty good aim, it was after all, the only rational thing that we could do. Gabe still had the ball in his hand.. so he was the one to throw the ball at the snake. I watched him throw it, (which I maintain was more of a lob) but he missed it pretty severely. It bounced off a little ways, and we went to fetch it.. (like really smart people.. both of us went)

when we came back the snake was nowhere to be found. I guess he didn't like having baseballs thrown at him. (what a wimp)

I think that experience might have been why my dad started to teach us how to shoot a gun. Of course, we couldn't hit a blasted thing but that's another story for another time.

All I can say, is that was probably the second most interesting time I have ever had at my Grandma's house. I've mentioned before how I always wished I had grown up on a farm, of course that was when I thought all farms came with horses, fishing, and good food, and, the list goes on and on. Sadly, I was a bit disillusioned.

Nate

Bard Knockledorm

2005-04-20T15:00:00.000-05:00

I am Bard Knockledorm, Pirate King of the seven seas! thou shalst fear me greatly!!! I have looted and plundered every square cubit of the mightiest ships that france has sent my way (and britain too for that matter)

all through my childhood my parents would never let me go trick or treating.. which I was ok with cause they always bought lots of candy for us to eat (as a way of making it up to us I think).

but the only part I didn't like about this was we never got to dress up. I mean, all the other kids I knew were going out as "Ken Griffey Jr." Magicians... or dinosaurs, princeses, etc. and every holloween night I would be a normal joe... always wishing I could dress up. Oh my sister would help me dress up, but not exactly in a very manly sort of way, as I have talked about in a previous post.

well, this particular year we were having a special party at church that night... and we got to dress up. I knew about this almost a month in advance, and I would ask my mom everyday if we could go to the store to get my costume. cause mine had to be perfect... I knew just what I wanted to be... a superhero. in particular spiderman.

Eventually I finally dragged my mom to the store... and we were looking around.. I checked under every single nook and cranny in the store. No spiderman anywhere, so we had to look for something else. There was a mermaid outfit in the corner... no I think not.

but that gave me an idea.. I could be a pirate. I found the perfect little outfit... it had an eye patch, and a nice plastic sword, and a pirates hat.. ahh that was soo awesome. only problem was.. what could my name be?

hmm, how about Bard... that seems like a good pirate name.. so Bard Knockledorm I became.

The night of the party came about and by 4 o'clock I was dressed and ready to go. Of course, the thing didn't start till seven so I was a little bit early, but really. how often does one get to be a mighty pirate?

we went to the party thing, after picking my dad up and I could feel all eyes on me, ohh I was riding high on the moment mighty sailor on the waters. I figured that it would be appropriate for a might sailor to draw his sword as he danced around in circles singing church songs.

I still don't know exactly why, but for some reason in the middle of these songs I stood up with my sword drawn out and yelled. "I am Bard Knockledorm, Pirate King of the seven seas! thou shalst fear me greatly!!! I have looted and plundered every square cubit of the mightiest ships that france has sent my way" I repeated this a few times, kind of like in "princess bride" where Inigo continually repeats his phrase.

Well, again, I'm not entirely sure why, but it seems my sunday school teacher didn't really appreciate this display of power, that clearly I possessed (I was holding a sword after all, plastic though it may have been). So, I got a little talking to, and then they took my sword away from me... they thought I'd hit somebody with it. I tried to explain to them that it was simply a tool used to discourage disagreement, I wouldn't really use it... it was just for show.

wouldn't this be good overall? I mean.. it could inspire compliance and less people talking during the message and stuff.. she evidently didn't think so.

I must say.. being the strong 6 year old that I was, I must say I handled it extremely well.. only tearing up for a few minutes. I complained to my parents about it later, they just said.. "well, you shouldn't have taken your pirates sword from it's sheath in front of everyone.

so much for support. Ahh well.. they didn't stop me though..

cause in my eyes.. and those of my class mates, I was still Bard Knockledorm.. and they could not take away from me.

Nate

I'm an oldest child?

2005-04-18T17:50:00.000-05:00

Today I was told that I am an oldest child.

Being as I have an older brother and sister, and two younger brothers this doesn't really make a lot of sense.. but whatever.

Personally, I had always thought that I was the middle child, and that's why I have turned out soo spectacularly. I mean.. the oldest children always seem to be the bossiest, and they're the ones who have it tough usually when they're children. They're usually the experimental children, ya know... it's like when people first decide they're going to have children they decide they're going to do a perfect job of raising them, and that means disciplining them (at least that's what I have observed). Sometimes this can work out quite well, but I've always been glad that I wasn't the oldest, cause they always seem to get it the toughest.

The youngest child (assuming it's not also the oldest) always seems to be the spoiled one of the bunch, expecting everything to be handed to him on a silver platter. Perhaps this is because the child's parents are now making enough money to give the child what they've always wished they were able to. Maybe, they are also realizing that it's just not discipline isn't that huge of a deal, and everything'll work out. This one seems to be the best, but again... personally I wouldn't want it, partially because that would mean that I was the baby of the family, and secondly, because I've seen too many youngest children who turn out to be absolute hellians. (of course.. I'll ignore the fact that my best friend is a youngest child :))

but the middle.. that's where it's at.. and I know it, or at least I always thought I did. I mean... they don't get it the toughest out of everybody.. but they don't get it the easiest either. sure they may be ignored a little bit more, but, that doesn't always happen. and besides look at it this way.. they're often relatively polite and semi respectful towards others, but, like the youngest children they're able to have a good time (not saying that oldest children can't have a good time).

So, I've been pretty excited that I have always been the middle child, but I found out tonight that I'm the oldest...

I was a bit confused, so I was wondering, does this mean that I'm their first child together? ohh wow the secrets they keep from us..

but no, that wasn't the case, I guess there's something saying that if a child is born more than like 3 years after the child older than him/her than he/she usually exhibits the traits of a first born. which makes it interesting.. with 5 children in our family... that makes 3 of us first borns.

ahh well, all I have to say is that you who really are middle children, and not oldest children like I am are lucky.. cause you have it the best.

at least through my distorted vision.

Nate

Free Candy!!!

2005-04-11T11:56:00.000-05:00

When I was younger I had a distinct love for candy.

I guess.. truthfully this has never left me, and for that reason I still eat sweets to this day. shocker.. I know, but true.

I remember talking to this girl about it a few times, and she was astonished that I actually expect to eat desserts with meals. It seems that it's entirely unhealthy, and if I do such a horrid thing then I will die at a young age, and will leave my wife alone on this earth (assuming that at the occurence of my untimely death I would be married.) well, I don't necessarily agree with that... but I digress.

I remember when I was quite young that my mother would take us kids to the supermarket. there were a number of different supermarkets in town and the one we went to varied on the basis of which one had the best sales going on, but my favorite one to go to was without a doubt Supersaver.

Sure, others had special deals like if you bring a kid in... the kid gets a cookie and I always thought that was cool, but even though Supersaver didn't offer that splendid deal, they did offer something that was even better.

They had one row in particular of about 30 huge brown drums, all filled with delicious candy. Of course, the prices on this candy never was all that spectacular, but, nonetheless, I loved that part of the store.

Anyway, at one point in time, I was with my mom walking down that aisle and I noticed something strange. there was some candy that wasn't still in the drums. Now, as I thought about it, I knew they couldn't sell that candy any more... so they would probably just sweep it up and throw it out. Problem was, I couldn't live with that being the case.. I mean, think about the waste of perfectly good foods.

so when I knew my mom wasn't looking I would sneakily reach back and grab some of the candy off the floor by the barrels. I figured nobody had stepped on these, so they were probably fine to eat.

As I tried it, I thought... OH WOW, this is awesome stuff. I kept helping myself to the candy that was on the floor. Unfortunately, even though my mom didn't catch me, an employee did see me eating candy, and he walked up and said.. "Where'd you get that candy?"

I quickly responded by saying, "umm.. from the floor right over here..." I started going off about how I thought it was just going to be thrown away and how it wouldn't be right to throw it away when I could just eat it.

My mom's face just went completely red, I don't think I've ever seen her quite so embarrassed as when that happened, he glanced over at her, realized that I was probably telling the truth and said "umm.. ok, just don't do it again"

being ever mindful of authority I decided to accept what he said, and I must say.. I have never again eaten candy off the floor of a supermarket.

Nate

Jealousy

2005-03-21T11:12:00.000-06:00

Some emotions seem to have colors. though.. it seems to me that the bad emotions are the ones with the most well known colors... like

Anger = Red

but, why on earth does Jealousy = Green? I've never understood that

actually, I've never really understood Jealousy whatsoever. I can watch a movie, and generally I can tell that a couple is going to break up when one or the other starts showing severe cases of jealousy.

you know what I'm talking about...

a guy, talking to a girl (or vice versa) "Where have you been?" or, "what have you been doing all night."

in other cases it is even more obvious... things such as "I don't want you hanging out with him" and, "what did you do with him" or... "why do you spend so much time with him?" (these can all be turned around vice versa... though I'm sure females probably have more subtle ways of being jealous.. seeing as they're usually more ingenious than us males)

The thing is... from what I've seen, it really doesn't seem to work at all. I mean, it seems that whenever a guy starts to do stuff like that, instead of bringing the girl closer to him, it pushes her away. she starts to think... "You don't trust me"

and.. as we all should know.. a good relationship is built on trust.

beyond that, even more so.. if we could control a person of the opposite sex to stay with us because we were jealous and kept them away from others... would that be such a good thing?

I mean, say you get married to this person, and as you're off at work, or they're off at work another person starts to hit on your spouse, this absolutely gorgeous person sees what a wonderful spouse you have, and wants what you have. so this person is making the moves on him/her...

Let me ask you this. If you had led up to your marriage with him/her with jealousy, and by trying to keep him/her away from others... what will happen now? when your spouse is in a position that you can not control.

I dunno, in my personal opinion I know that a girl is going to have more choices than just picking me. but, I'm not going to try to make it so that I'm her only choice (I mean... if she was dating me I wouldn't want her to be dating anyone else as well, but she could definitely hang out with them) so that in the event she does choose me, I'll know that she is really picking me and it'll be building a marriage on a base of trust.

Just my thoughts on the subject

Nate

The Airport...

2005-03-20T00:22:00.000-06:00

I’ve flown a few times…

That is… in an airplane. (though some think I’m superman… I’m not and can not fly on my own. Sigh)

Anyway, today I was returning home from visiting the college I’m going to transfer to this fall, (though I didn’t know that when I went) we were at the airport (my parents my little brother and myself) getting ready to board a plane bound for Chicago.

We arrived quite early at the airport, which was a good thing because we couldn’t find the car return that we were supposed to use. First we parked in other companies car returns before finally having to exit the building and come back.

So we made our embarrassing return through the parking garage, and I could have sworn that every eye was on our car. At least the people who worked there who saw us parking in other companies car stalls…

I’m pretty sure they were laughing, but I had my window rolled up all the way, and my head down, so I couldn’t really tell.

After we finally found our spot, we had to stuff some of the purchases we had made into our suitcases… which meant that I was going to have the wonderful opportunity to fill up my bag with taffy, and other delicious treats. What luck J

Of course, this didn’t really help me, as we promptly checked my bag in and I lost track of the candy. And this being written while I’m in the plane, I don’t really have access to it now. Though if I did you can be assured there would not be a whole lot of candy left.

Going through security was a wonderful experience as always. There is nothing I would rather do than disperse of all my personal belongings into a couple little bus tubs, and then have somebody looking through and seeing my items. Ooh, I love it… On the bright side, it does make me feel more secure when I’m flying… knowing that nobody is bringing anything onto the plane which would initiate a security risk.

Since we had made it to the airport so early, we knew we had quite a wait before we were to board the plane, it should have been about two hours… give or take a few minutes. Sure enough right on time they said they were to begin boarding. Of course, it seemed longer than it actually was, because there were a few little girls who were constantly crying, always a fun experience, but such is life right?

Being the dutiful passenger I was, I immediately pulled out my boarding pass, and got into line to board the plane. After quickly making it through the line, I went down the stairs, and started walking out side, when everyone who made it through the line prior to me, began walking back towards the building.

What was going on???

Well, it turns out that there had been an annoying miscommunication, cause the lady at the counter thought we could board, but the crew of the plane didn’t want us on yet, cause we were going to have to wait another hour before we took off cause of weather problems in Chicago.

The problem was, we had already done the boarding thing, so we couldn’t go back into the main room, and we weren’t to board the plane yet, so, we were stuck in the middle.

It was quite an feeling, personally it reminded me a bit of the movie “The Terminal” except for the fact that we couldn’t go anywhere in the terminal.. ahh well..

Anyway, eventually they did let us board, and we left the ground about an hour after we had planned to. All in all that’s not too bad, we should still be able to make our connection and get back home, but we shall see.

At least the extra long time in the airport allowed me the marvelous opportunity to finish charging up my laptop battery J and my phone battery as well.. whoohoo lol.

Nate

I'm sorry... (hehe)

2005-03-15T21:58:00.000-06:00

You were mine for so long, and I yours.

But now, I feel it is time we must part.

I know you don't want to me to think this way, you think you're still as young as you were when we met.

I'm sorry, no matter how much you think that... it's simply not true.

In any event, that's not why we need to do break apart.

You have held my heart for so long, I have spent many hours and days holding you close, but you just aren't as important to me now as you were back then.

I have other things now that are way more important than spending time with you, no matter what you might think.

I have things to do, that will count for the rest of my life, and even though we would like to be together forever (I wish it was possible as well) you just aren't that important to me.

I know you have waited patiently these last 6 months, waiting for me to come back to my senses. Waiting for me to come back to you.

I should have made it clear earlier that we are finished. Yes we have had some flings since then, but, they didn't mean anything to me.

I'm sorry to hurt you by saying this, but I can not lie to you anymore.

Besides, I can not afford you anymore. I hate to tell you this, and I probably shouldn't be, cause I don't want to hurt your feelings, but you are kind of high maitenance.

Much of my paychecks were going to pay for you, and for things you wanted. Perhaps I enjoyed them as well, even so, I'm in college now. I need to spend my money on things that really matter to me.

I need to spend it on things that will affect my future in a positive way.

I'm sorry that it has come to this, but I will not shed a tear over you, and I doubt you will over me.

yes you will be lonely, but I think you will find another guy. Either that, or I will try to find one for you, cause I'm just awesome like that.

anyway, my dear video game system.

for the last, I bid the farewell.

Nate

Swimming Pool

2005-03-12T21:11:00.000-06:00

There’s nothing better than swimming on a hot summer day.

Well, occasionally, I would rather play baseball or what not… but for the most part, I love to swim. (Even though, I may not be the best swimmer in the world) The cool water, against the hot sun is a feeling that is definitely enjoyable. I would go so far as to say, Borderline awesome.

On this bright day, I felt the urge to go swimming. I could picture it in my head. (back then all I thought about when I wanted to go swimming was the actual swimming, and not cute girls which meant I was probably between 8-12)

I had been begging my mom all day to take me to the pool, but, to no avail. She gave some excuse about how she had to cook supper (the preferred term over dinner).

Well, I spotted this right quick as an excuse, but there was nothing I could really do about it, because I obviously couldn’t drive myself.

She did give me a suggestion that if I really wanted to swim I could fill up the tub and take a bath. Personally I didn’t think too much of this suggestion, cause taking a bath involves water and getting clean, whereas swimming involves water and getting dirty (hence why you have to take a shower after you swim).

My immediate thoughts went to overcoming this obstacle of a ride or lack thereof.

I got to thinking about it, and I realized that some people I knew had pools in the back of their yards… Luckyy, I bet they are swimming right now.

Of course they lived way away from me, and there’s no way I could bike to their place.. so I had to think up a way around this problem…

Then it hit me (insert light bulb here)

I could make my own pool in the back yard. It’d be perfect, free, close… and all I would have to do is put in a little bit of work to make it happen.

After studying the layout of the land, I realized the best place to put it would be under our linden tree, after all it had shade. Besides, there was no grass under there, which meant that under the unlikely circumstances that my parents wouldn’t approve of my renovations, I wouldn’t be digging up any grass. The other reason was, I could get a ways on my project before my parents could see what I was doing from the house.

After deciding how big to make it (5 feet deep and a 7 foot circle) I got out my trusty trowel and started digging away. After I had been working for a while (I had gotten a whole almost 8 inches deep and 5 inches wide) I realized I need much bigger equipment than a trowel.

I snuck into the garage, and grabbed the trowel. My mom saw me on the way back out, and asked me what I was doing. Me being the honest boy I was, told her that I was digging a hole.

I figured it was safer not to mention that I was trying to dig a huge whole to make a swimming pool.

I think she had me figured out though, cause she told me that I shouldn’t be digging any holes in our yard, and if I had I needed to fill it back up.

Sadly, my venture ended there.

I had so many other plans too.. I was going to put a huge tarp at the bottom and tie it to the edges, so that it wouldn’t be a mud bowl. It would have been awesome…

I figured if it turned out well, maybe I could even sell my services to neighbors. But, it all ended like that.. sigh.

Though on the bright side… shortly after that I my mom began taking me to the pool slightly more often, maybe my idea worked out after all..

Nate

Competitiveness

2005-03-08T16:51:00.000-06:00

I'm a competitive person by nature.

I'm one of those people, that if I can win, I will try my hardest to make that happen.

I know my parents would always get mad at me, because I would often have a neighborhood kid over to play or something, and I would win every single time at whatever we were playing.

I do want to point out right now, that while I am still very competitive, there are a certain select few whom I would actually be willing to lose to.

For the most part however, I have always thought.. what's the point of winning if the other person isn't trying? I mean, honestly, if I were to be constantly losing, then all of a sudden I win, I'll be like YAHOO!!! but as soon as I find out that they weren't trying I'll be like.. "That was a waste of time, while I could have been improving playing a person who's better than I am, I wasted my time because they weren't trying."

Thus, like I said, I'm very competitive. and, I'm also part Irish, I think that may have something to do with what happened that day (so long as I don't have to blame myself it's all good).

When I was probably 10 or so, I played soccer for the YMCA. This was one of two sports seasons in my life in which we won more than 30% of our games.

well it was in the middle of a game,and for some reason I don't remember exactly what happened (i think I was picking a dandelion or something off the field). The next thing I know the whistle was blowing, so I snapped back my head towards the game, and it turns out we were going to get a free kick.

for those of you who don't know, basically we got to kick the ball, from really close to the goal, with only one person there to try to stop it. This had me thrilled. It was a close game, and we were finally getting a chance to score. Even better our best player (next to me of course) was the one getting the free kick.

I saw him get ready, and I thought, "Oh yeah, he's definitely going to make this!" then we're going to win, then..." and as my thoughts began to run away with me, he made his way toward the ball, and kicked it.

Wow! I thought, he really smashed that thing, I mean, for a 10 year old, he hit it really hard.

Unfortunately this exuberant joy quickly changed to sadness when I saw the ball skyrocket over the goal post, and then hit a car in the parking lot.

As soon as I realized what had happened, I shouted "Shoot" (which is an example of my vulgar vocabulary).

I turned around, as I got ready for the goalie to use his goalie kick, when I saw this evil, snot nosed guy jumping for joy that we had missed the shot. I mean, the nerve of the guy.

I felt, insulted by this guy, so I did what any rational ten year old would do. I came to the quick decision that the only way he would learn his lesson is for me to beat it out of him. (mind you, I think I have thrown maybe one punch in my life).

So I started running after him (probably not the best choice, considering, it let him know my plans) and he quickly took off away from me. I chased him halfway down the field before the refs caught up with me (though I never caught him, I think that's 'cause I was pretty slow).

I'll tell you what, my dad was really irritated about that one, or embarrassed (not sure why, either because I chased a kid down to punch him, or I didn't catch him)

anyway, I can honestly say that ever since that night, my rear end has been very good at telling me not to punch somebody for fear of a certain someone.

Nate

Ice cream for breakfast

2005-03-05T17:11:00.000-06:00

Throughout my childhood Ice Cream was always a staple of a good healthy breakfast.

Yeah right, and if you believe that I have some "Ocean-front property in Arizona" to sell you (If you act now I'll throw the golden gate in for free.)

but, there was one particular circumstance that led my dear sweet mother to genuinely offer us all the ice cream we could eat for breakfast.

It actually had a few parts to it.

1. The Sale

My mom rarely buys things if they're not on sale, and much of the time, she won't buy them even if they are on sale, cause she'll wait for the sale to be better.

But in this case the sale was incredible, I'm not sure what it was, buy it was good enough for my mom to buy 10 of those boxes of Ice cream from Super Saver.

Perhaps this is not very shocking to you, but it is something that I never thought could possibly happen. If you knew my mom, it could result in one of those cartoonish things where the eyes pop in and out of their sockets a few times.

but it did happen, and she brought them home. we had them stuffed into our chest freezer downstairs. I was excited for weeks/months of Ice cream for dessert.

I also feel the need to explain that we often have desserts but, most of the time they're healthy desserts, such as jello. sometimes we have cake or cookies, but that's not very often. So the thought of having weeks continuous of having Ice cream for dessert was incredible.

#2 Storm

We had a bit of a storm the very night that, well, actually we had a lot of a storm that night.. there was thunder and lightning everywhere. most of our family woke up and came downstairs trying to get away from the windows of the house..

for a 8-9 year old, I suppose it's not supposed to be that scary I suppose, in which case I'm just a wimp.. cause I was frightened, or more exactly scared out of my wits.

nothing bad really happened, and the storm calmed down, I went back to sleep.

#3 Power Outtage

Early next morning though, I tried to turn on the lights, hmm.. nothing they weren't working. I walked into the family room where the chest freezer was and I noticed an array of those foam boxes that are supposedly good a kepping cold things cold, and hot things hot (I think that means they're insulated).

anyway, we had so much stuff in the freezer that my mom had to make decisions as to what stayed cold (I.E. what went into the insulated boxes until we got our power back) and what do you know... the Ice Cream didn't make the cut.

My immediate thought was darn, all this Ice Cream is going to waste, because it's not lunch time yet. Thankfully though my brain finally woke up and started its quick thinking. It began by trying to convince my mom that we shouldn't waste our food. (There are starving children in china after all)

and soon enough, we were eating Ice cream for breakfast! best of all, we could choose from almost any flavor, because there was soo much of it. Luckyy us huh?

. of course she soon found some of our neighbors had power and she gave them the rest of the ice cream for safe keeping. So, I only got to eat it for breakfast once.. but boy.. that was my favorite breakfast ever.

Nate

Money = Change

2005-03-03T21:15:00.000-06:00

Money, changes everything.

Well, not always.. but it sure does affect a lot of things.. that's for sure.

When I was growing up, my family never had much money.

I think I knew this, but, I wasn't exactly sure just how little we had. Even though times have changed, at a fast food restaurant, I make more money per hour than my dad did when he had 2 children (I suppose it's technically a family restaurant.. but we have a drive thru, so I consider it to be a fast food establishment).

I remember sometimes going to the "store" and getting boxes and boxes of corn flakes, and dried milk (what's that stuff called?). I don't believe we ever had to pay for it. it was some government program...

anyway, now so much has changed. Perhaps, to many living in the US, we still don't have a lot of money, but we are easily able to afford the "normal necessities" such as cold cereals, and cold milk.. (mmm, I love that stuff).

The thing is, it's hard for me to fathom that transition. I mean, ever since I can remember, we had to evenly portion things out carefully. if we had fruit, we might save it for a certain meal... it was expensive, and we didn't want to have one person eat all of it (especially, with how rare we got some of that fruit). Now, I suppose just within the last couple of years that has dramatically changed, and we can help ourselves to the fruit, it's weird.

I have a brother who is appx. 10 years younger than me. Being so, his growing up experience just do to the money is a lot different than mine was. I see him getting a new shirt, and I think.. how come he gets that.. my mom would never have spent the money to get me a name brand shirt. etc.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong, but I bet there are those who know what I'm talking about. It's not like it's not ok for them to get those.. but it almost seems unfair because we never did... but the thing is we have more money now.. and that changes things.

His growing up experience is going to be much different than mine, it'll be interesting to see if that affects how he turns out.

As another area, money changes things at the workplace a lot too. much of the time (unless I've had a really long day, and am tired) I have a decent sense of humor. I mean, I can usually laugh at things, particularly if they're funny. But, I have realized there are a few types of jokes that I almost never laugh about.

An example of a type of joke that I do not "appreciate" can be show with this illustration. I'm working late at night, doing my night deposit, a coworker comes in, and grabs the stack of money, and pretends to make away with it.

Even though I know perfectly well, that he does not have any intention of taking this money, I nonetheless have an outright desire to at the least snatch the money away from him, and at the worst knock him to the ground and get the money back.

Why would I think this? I mean, it's just a harmless joke right?

well, the thing is... money changes everything.. if he were to run up and grab a handful of lemons and pretend to steal them.. what would I do?

Without a doubt, I would knock him over in order to retrieve my precious lemons.. duh.

LOL

so the question is.. where am I going with this?

I was just thinking about it. There are so many movies and books both new and old that involved money in the plot. Once money becomes an issue people are prone to do things that they would never otherwise do.

I personally have never had anybody rob me, or had an attempt on my life (probably cause I have no money) I have also never really been bullied with the intent of the other person getting money... nor have I thought about doing that to anyone I know. But even so, I have been able to see (even as a child) that having money changes people, and how they act. Whether we like it or not, it's the case.

I would be willing to bet (not really, cause I don't bet), that part of the reason I am who I am today, is because of me and my families and financial situation.

Nate

My Greatest Fort

2005-03-01T13:16:00.000-06:00

Sir, Yes Sir!!

I yelled at the top of my lungs, and dove back into the bunker, weaving my way around obstacles.. trying to avoid enemy fire. This mission was very important, it was life or death to me.. and there was no stopping, no turning back.

Suddenly I turned bumped into one of the support stacks. Everything came tumbling down on me, everything. The war was lost, I was toast.

But, even worse than both of those things, my game was over for the day. I was covered in sleeping bags and blankets that had been held up by resting on chairs and tables. Held in place by books and the like being pressed down, so that the blankets could be stretched tight, and could cover more surface area.

this had been our biggest "bunker" yet, we (my younger brother and I) had filled our entire bedroom and had it covered. We had even made seperate little rooms that were closed off via little blankets that served as doors. so, we had our own offices.

The project had taken us all day. after finishing school at about 11 that day (being homeschooled, and in 3rd grade really has it's advantages) we had finally finished it at about 6pm that night. and I was devastated. I knew from past experiences that things never go back together as well as they first were. bummer.

I haven't made another fort since then. Perhaps I thought it was a waste of time, but I do remember it. Boy! those were fun times.

as I was saying I can remember diving under there trying to avoid an enemy attack, we had some red blankets that were somewhat thin, and when the light in our room would hit them, it would shine through red. I would always make sure I never went into that area, it meant certain death. or at the least it was an injury, which could only be taken care of by going to the doctors office. We always had to have one of those, they were the most important.. you go there and "ooh, I'm healed".

Even though we would have fun playing in it, the best fun was in the building of it. Though, I didn't realize it at the time.

as of now, I can still see our card tables, and think of it as our bomb shelter, and in fact there's still one stupid post I see sometimes that I get mad at. I just want to punch it, cause I barely touched it and it fell over. and the war was lost cause of that pathetic broom handle.

All in all, I think it's great that I had the opportunity to use my imagination as a kid. Actually, I don't think that it ever really wore off on me.

walking through the thrift store (the best place to shop) I'll see chairs tables stands, blankets various other things that would be perfect for building another fort. I think, I need to buy this, for the next time I build a fort.

which is why I always have to go with someone to the thrift store, cause otherwise I purchase a lot of useless stuff (also, why I have been banned from watching the shopping channel)

Nate

Rain, rain on my face

2005-02-24T12:47:00.000-06:00

Windshield wipers are awesome! that is.. they're awesome when they work.

Not so long ago, I got into a rather bad accident.. well, more exactly I stopped unintentionally into the back of a car who had stopped, in my opinion, rather suddenly in front of me.

anyway, having been cheap, and not buying full coverage, I was out of money, and being as my parents had (and still do have) a dislike (a weak word for their feelings on the subject) of debt, I was forced to save up money, so that I could buy another vehicle.

In the mean time I got to drive around in our minivan.

Ooh, it was soo cool, it had a v6 that could go zero to 45 in about 25 seconds... more or less. but, it was free so who's complaining right?

well, I guess it wasn't really free, I had to pay for the gas, and at 12 miles a gallon, it sure didn't seem like such a steal to me... but perhaps that's just me being silly..

At some point in time, I realized that my windshield wipers didn't work (I drove the vehicle for 6 months) , the thing was, we were in a severe drought, so I didn't really think much of it... it's like, well, we're in a drought, which means I don't really need my windshield wipers, besides if it's pouring I just won't drive...

OOh what a mistake that was

The first rain that we got was a doozy. I mean, it was virtually a torrential downpour. I think it was a wednesday night, and I was working with the youth group at church.

When we finished up, I walked outside and noticed the rain... hmm, glad we just got tires put on the van, should have pretty good traction. I turned it on, pulled the switch for the lights... adjusted the radio to my favorite oldies station (hadn't gotten hooked on country yet). and then I flipped the switch to start the windshield wipers.

OH Crud!!

duh, they weren't working were they... what do I do now? well, I suppose it's probably not raining all that hard... and it's only like a 14 minute 27 second drive back to my house (that was only an average... I was very meticulous with my counting). so, I could handle it right?

Well, as I got going, I realized just how hard it was raining... not that I have ever been in one, but it seemed as though it might be a flash flood or something. Well, I handled it ok for the first few minutes... only crossing over the yellow lines 4-5 times, and hitting the curb/going off road twice.

Obviously this was not working. I could not see a blasted thing through the windshield. so what was there left to do? I suppose I could have waited it out (that might have been the smart thing) but I wanted to get home.

So I built up my courage... took off my leather jacket (didn't want it getting soaked) hid it behind the seat) and rolled down the window. then I stuck my head out the window, and drove home that way.

I must say, that is an experience I do not want to go through again.. I'm not much of a fan of being soaked for thirty some minutes (I drove really slow) driving with my head out of the window.

Next day, I scheduled an appointment to have the windshield wipers fixed. and what do you know... we didn't get another bad rain until after I had bought another car.

Nate

movies a social event

2005-02-22T14:08:00.000-06:00

Watching a movie is a social event.

That's my opinion and I'm sticking to it.

If you ever feel like watching a movie with me, or someone who shares a similar opinion as me, be forewarned.

I mean, think about it, who wants to go to a movie theatre to watch a movie by him/herself? not very many of us that's for sure, and who wants to sit at home watching some normal movie by themselves? not very many of us I'm sure.

It's definitely not the case for me. When I watch movies, I do it because I enjoy the people I'm around, and therefore I want to talk during it. so what?

First of all, I want to point out that my favorite movies are those that one can talk through, such as "What about Bob" and "Sgt. Bilko" then there are cult classics such as "Princess Bride" that I have seen so many times, I like to quote the lines to.

To me, the best way to see a movie is to see it and be talking about it, perhaps even psychoanalyzing the movie. or, more common, talking about something completely different than the movie.

It's (IMO) kind of like watching Mystery Science Theatre 3000. which is a fabulous movie/tv show, that has people making fun of horrible movies... what could be better?

That's my opinion, but it seems that some people disagree with me. I guess that as a whole many people feel that watching a movie is something that should actually be done. I mean, they feel that if they're watching a movie, then that's all they should be doing. They want to get the full experience that the director intended out of the movie, rather than being distracted by chit chat...

I can sort of see that, I suppose, I mean, I know some people, that will do laundry, or needlepoint, and at the climax of the movie, they'll be like, is that guy bad? what's happening? and I definitely feel that they shouldn't be asking such questions, it's like.. well, I've been watching this the whole time, you should have been too.

but for the most part, the most enjoyable times I have had watching movies has been when I am joking around with others during a movie.

In my opinion though, the thing that I think is ok, but irritates others the most, is when I'm watching a drama or something, and I'm continually talking about it, or trying to figure out what's going on, and the others are like, "just watch the movie... you'll find out what happens."

Perhaps they are right, but all in all, what's the point of watching movies if you can't talk during them? I mean, it's not like we're usually watching to learn anything. we're watching for enjoyment, so why not enjoy it?

so to all those out there that "sshhhh" me.

HMMPH

Nate

The fun is in the pursuit

2005-02-18T13:00:00.000-06:00

Whether we want to believe it or not, the fun, or enjoyment that we get out of things is found in our pursuit of it.

don't believe me do you?

I suppose you would rather just win the super bowl without ever working towards it, but trust me (not that I'd know about that particular situation), we wouldn't enjoy the rewards nearly as much without the work that went into it.

The memories of the games that lead up to the event are what make it worth while. Knowing that one has to win this game, and then they get what they've always wanted.

In my opinion, it works that way with people of the feminine persuasion.

No, I'm not talking about stalking a girl (or a guy, if that's what you happen to be, that is if you're a girl you'd be stalking a guy).

What I'm talking about is once the relationship starts. some people say that the first two months of a relationship are called "Utopia" because nothing that the other person does is wrong (at least in your eyes) The reason for this is that the two people in this relationship are enjoying the pursuit or the chase of the other person, that is to say, they are enjoying spending time with them, and getting to know them.

Even fighting works into this equation. For the most part when a fight ends, assuming that it ends amiably, the couple will "make up", meaning that they will create an environment that others will not want to be a part of. and they will try to get to know each other again and more so.

So the point of this?

well, that would be that obviously there's a good reason for all this divorce, because after one gets married there's no reason to pursue the wife anymore.

oh, sure there are other reasons, but seeing as I don't feel like pointing them out, and because they won't work with my thesis I won't say them :)

I read something in MSN messenger a while back about how to be the perfect husband. I saved it, because, rare though it may be, MSN actually had some thoughts that made sense.

as I re-read it, the thing that kept making itself clear to me, was that the way to be the perfect husband is to continually pursue her, and to try to continue getting to know her. Basically, the thing to do is to not take her for granted.

I think there is some truth to this, if we want to enjoy something to the fullest, we need to work for it, and towards it. whether that be school, our job, our friends, sports, etc..

Nate

I want to thank my dad, who has demonstrated for as long as I can remember, how to be a loving husband in pursuit of his wife.

Dreams

2005-02-16T18:59:00.000-06:00

Ululate - ULL-yuh-layt - To wail or howl

not that that has anything to do with my post, I just thought it was a cool word. :)

I don't know if everybody does this, but when I was younger I started a list of things that I wanted to do before I died.

For example, at one point in time, I wanted to spend a night in jail. I'm not really sure why I want to, maybe it's because I've always been a little angel, or on the other hand, it could be because I've just been rather sheltered, and it's something that most likely I'll never do.

Another thing that I want to do is go skydiving. That this looks incredibly exciting, and I might even do it sometime, that is if I can ever figure out how to do it without jumping out of a plane. The only way I can truthfully picture jumping out of a plane, is if it were about to crash, in which case I would be going from certain death, to only possible death. which is clearly much more worth the risk.

or perhaps bungee jumping, that seems like it would be pretty exciting. of course the problem there, is that I have a hard time entrusting my life to a huge rubber rope. I'd be quite afraid that it couldn't hold my immense weight (all 165 pounds of it). I mean, think about it, what's the point of the excitement of jumping off a bridge, if there's a possibility that you might die? It seems to me, that dying would really kill off the funness of the situation rather quickly.

On, a less risky note, I have this one that involves a person that I wanted to make cry because this person would be so happy. Unfortunately that will probably never happen, at least do to my efforts anyway. but, I gave it a valient effort, if only I had more time.

Another dream I had was that I would learn to play all the instruments out there, not sure exactly why I wanted that one, except that I love playing instruments, even if I am rather poor at it.

what do all of these dreams have in common? sadly, probably none of them will ever happen. I will probably never do anything that could take me to jail, and I will probably never get up the guts to jump out of a plane. My sociology teacher always said that when dreaming we should aim high. But should we? or are we setting ourselves up for disappointment?

I can remember times when I would work on my baseball swing all winter long, and then all spring long, in hopes that when I would play baseball that summer I would be able to get a 500 batting average. then summer came along, I started playing baseball and everything fell apart. Sadly, that dream of being a fantastic player fell apart too.

But, in respect for dreams, I must say this. Dreams are hopeful. There's always a chance that I'll jump out of a plane (with a parachute attached of course). the thing is that when I have dreams of things I want to do in the future, it makes me excited. Throughout my life, I have had a very internal locus of control, meaning that I have felt that I have the ability to change things that happen to me. I think that I can do almost anything if I set my mind to it, and often times I have found that to be true, from working hard and getting good grades, to getting my curveball down pat.

I mean, think about it, if we didn't have dreams I suppose that we would never accomplish everything that we can. For example, watching "American Idol" these people have dreams of winning the competition, sure all but one of them won't win it, but for that one person, the dream was more than worth it. The dream let them to where they are.

If we only live in a life where dreams are silly, then we will never realize our full potential.

so there I leave it. Sure dreams can be depressing, in the fact that many of them might not come true, but without these dreams, we would probably just live monotonous lives. Dreams are what have made America Great.

So I guess they are worth it... just disappointing sometimes

Nate

Valentines, Cooking, and such

2005-02-14T16:20:00.000-06:00

In the heart of valentines day (laughter inserted here). I thought I would write about a special musings of mine.

though, as I said in last post, it is perhaps nefarious.

I have never really liked to cook. I mean, I don't mind it too much, and I'm actually not too bad at it. I just don't really get a lot of pleasure out of doing it.

Think about it, five minutes after starting to eat the item that was worked on for hours the item really shows no appearance of its former self.

Then, once we continue on to clean up mode. we are throwing away and scraping off the excess into trash cans, or maybe into little plastic containers that can be stuck in the fridge and can be remicrowaved later.

Of course, many of these items that have been put back in the fridge, termed "leftovers" never get eaten. Instead they just sit there growing mold, and getting pushed back to the back of the fridge, not to be seen again for 6 months.

After 6 months of course is when we have on the rubber gloves, and the face mask and we try to figure out what is still edible. and what needs to be given to the garbage disposal.

Well, like I said, cooking is not one of my favorite ways to spend time, cause I just imagine my 3 hours of preparation going down the tubes and being stuck in the back of a fridge.

However, I have a fear that when I eventually get married, the lucky girl will have this desire to make me cook.

I see this happening especially if she has to work as well, and comes home, and obviously doesn't want to cook all the time... I know I wouldn't want to cook all the time that's for sure.

so, what I was thinking...

Is that some semi romantic time (probably not on valentines day), while still dating this girl, I would have her over for dinner. I would make everything perfect. The lights would be dimmed, the nice table cloth on the table, soft jazz music playing, a couple candles on the table, a bouquet of her favorite flowers. It would be perfect.

I would make sure to let her know that I had spent hours and hours on the food. I had made it, and it was absolutely perfect. I would throw around words that would show how hard I had tried.

so then, we would sit down to the meal, and it would be dreadful. I mean, it might look nice, but if there was meat, I would burn the balogna out of it. and I might make a cake, with salt instead of sugar or something... just do a horrible job.

I mean, wouldn't that be perfect?

she would be like, yes this is great

but she wouldn't think so, and in order to not have that experience happen again, she would not let me cook.

Sadly, even though it's such a great idea, I bet there's a way out there in which it could backfire... rats

Nate

Nefarious Acts

2005-02-12T17:11:00.000-06:00

Nefarious: Wicked in the extreme

I have committed many nefarious acts in my time.

at least this is the belief of my mother, or it was, when I was a child (as I still am, I suppose, in her eyes)

One of the most wicked acts that I did, was brought back to my attention this afternoon. After getting home from work at 5am I quickly climbed into bed and fell asleep. at least I did for a few hours until I woke up to my alarm, and the fact that I had to be to church in 20 minutes because I had offered my services as a volunteer janitor for a day out of the goodness of my heart, and just the desire to serve my church

Perhaps, the true reason, (don't tell mi novia), was because when I signed up I saw several cute girls also signing up as well. Obviously I wasn't going to have them have to do all the work by themselves. I mean, after all, I'm an angel.

As I was saying, after we all met at the church, got the cleaning supplies together and stuff we assigned jobs, and guess what, I got the one job that I hate above all else. Cleaning bathrooms (when thinking this my mind is saying, BLECK).

but, not wanting to appear like a wuss, I quickly grabbed the toilet bowl cleaner, and started scrubbing away. I was working on the bathrooms for probably around 30 minutes, and the whole time I was thinking about when I was younger (what a ripoff, I did this cause of cute girls, and while doing it, I didn't even think about them).

We would always have to do chores, and I would do the bathrooms probably a couple of times a week. The problem twofold. Like I said earlier, I don't like doing bathrooms, and secondly I would want to play with my friend.

Due to these two reasons, I would often try to finish them as quickly as possible, and hope to fool my mom into thinking that I had done a good job. On other occasions I would wait until my mom was hopelessly busy cooking, or something starting to take a nap... and then I would tell her that I had finished and she could check my job. I figured that she wouldn't check it, cause she'd believe I did a good job, and then she wouldn't have to stop what she was doing.

Well, sadly my nefarious acts rarely worked with her, and unfortunately that meant that over time I actually learned how to do a decent job cleaning the bathrooms. So today I cleaned them all really well, and then to make sure I had done a decent job, like the good little boy I was, I went and got one of the girls, and had her check over it, to make sure I had done well enough :)

Nate

P.S. am I nefarious or what?

A letter to my mind

2005-02-10T14:46:00.000-06:00

Dear Mind of mine

You know I love you, really I do. You're quick, and sharp, and you hold your own. You're way above average, and I really have no complaints about that...

but why are you like this?

I know I should probably talk to you myself, instead of simply writing you a letter, but, I guess I just don't think I would be able to get it all out right. Besides, from my observations of you, you're able to see exactly what you want to see.

ok, ok, I'll get down to it.

I know you're probably a little bit irritated at me, I mean, I stuff you full of information at school all day long, then I give you a short break before starting all over again. You may not understand this at the moment, but it's for the best, I promise.

I wish you would listen to me when I say this, instead of fighting me over it.

I suppose I should give you an example, just in case you aren't following me... how come, when I see a cute girl you go berserk and only think about her? why won't you listen to me when I tell you what is most important. I guaruntee you that thinking about every possibility of what could happen between me and her in the next 3 years is utterly ridiculous.

Now, I'm not going to tell you it's not OK to think about girls, I'm just saying that it would be nice if you would stop thinking about them when I'm studying. You may not believe me, but the studying would go much faster if you would just work with me here.

Also, I know you are quite analytical, and like to think about every possiblity that could ever happen, but, I'd also appreciate it, if you'd not do that as much with girls... please?

Under no circumstances do I want you to feel that I am berating you, or that I am even mad at you. Rather, I would greatly appreciate it if you were to work with me a little here. I know you feel over worked and you want to have fun, but the fun will come, I promise... for now, the not so fun stuff is ok too.

so, for now, lets think about such fun things as derivatives, Hamlet, and the ever so popular Smooth Endoplasmic Reticulum. (gotta love those lipids)

Nate

Being wrong and wise

2005-02-07T17:48:00.000-06:00

I think it's interesting that people in general have such a difficult time admitting they were wrong.

I think it makes them feel ashamed that they could have possibly made a mistake (I'm not excluding myself from this)

I'll give an example, although, I'm sure that you'd have no difficulty thinking of one yourself.

One of the groups of people that have the most talent at annoying me are highschool aged girls. While I have many complaints about them in general. (I know there are exceptions, and there are some charming girls of that age group I just haven't met many of them.) for instance, they have this propensity to giggle, A LOT about absolutely nothing. Having had many opportunities to hear this giggling, because I work at a place they like to frequent, I know first hand just how anoying it can be.

However, giggling, is not what I'm talking about in this case. What I'm talking about is dialogue that goes something like this

Girl #1 WOW!!! those are awesome pants, I love Urban Outfitters
Girl #2 Actually they're American Eagle...
Girl #1 oh, JUST KIDDING

Arrgh, that really irritates me. Why can they not just admit they were wrong?

(By the way, I'm not saying it's just girls that do that)

I saw a quote about a very similar thing just today, that I really liked...

A man should never be ashamed to own that he has been in the wrong, which is but saying in other words, that he is wiser today than he was yesterday. -Jonathan Swift, 1711

I saw that and I thought, that is quite true.

When I make a mistake, and I know that I made it. Then most likely, I have learned from it. In all reality admitting that we have made a mistake truly shows that we are wiser than we were before. It shows that you are constantly growing, not at perfection yet, but you weren't before either.

So I'll admit it, rare though it may be... I did miss a problem in math today. though, I will say, it is a rare instance indeed in which that happens. :)

Nate

Headaches, and pills

2005-02-01T18:19:00.000-06:00

Headaches are Horrible

I don't have a huge problem with them (headaches that is). In fact, I get them quite rarely, maybe once every 4 months (that is unless I listen to "red hot chili peppers" something about the lead singers voice) , but when I do, they're a doozy.

I've heard about others who have migraine headaches and from what I've heard they sound awful.

One problem with headaches is that while the bearer of the headache has pain in his/her head, a person can not tell just by looking at the at the person with the headache that this is the case.

Whereas at least one can see a person with a cold from a mile away. I mean, it's completely obvious when somebody has a cold, the red eyes, the cough/sneeze, the watery eyes.. all that stuff.

but, when they have a headache, it is quite difficult to tell.

Anyway, last week, I had quite a headache. I mean, my head was absolutely pounding. I was at work, so I went over to the first aid box and grabbed some tylenol.

After carefully reading the directions I ripped open the packet with the pills, I was about to grab the pills and pop em in my mouth when I noticed something that I had missed before.

On the bottom of the little packet, there was a little note saying, "Do not take if package is ripped or torn"

what was I supposed to do? obviously the packet had to be ripped in order take the pills, but I couldn't take the pills if the packet was opened. ARRGH!!!

What was I to do?

I was bewildered, so I talked to the others working there, and they were like.. well, obviously you can't disobey the package. In essence they told me to live with it.

of course, with my quick wit, I couldn't catch the sarcasm, and so I waited and eventually I just decided to take the pills.

I hope that was the right decision.

I just wish the companies didn't make it so hard to know what to do.

Nate

Haunted House Christmas Ornament

2005-01-27T17:12:00.000-06:00

For the most part I love traditions. (it would be that I Love traditions period, but, We had a tradition of getting umm, spanked, when we did something wrong.. and I didn't really like that tradition.)

I particularly love the ones that occur right around Christmas at our house.

We used to have a calendar that we would put up on the entry way wall. It was the type that you stick a little mouse into the calendar, and everyday you move the mouse to the next position on the calendar. Anyway, every night my parents would put in a slip of paper, and we would do something special as a family. Be it something small like having hot chocolate and singing carols, to going out to eat or to a movie as a family. Sometimes we went out to see lights, and various things like that.

One thing that we always did relatively early was that around the 10th or 12th we would set up our christmas tree.

Let me back up a bit.

Another tradition we have is that every year my parents get each of us a new ornament, (they started that when I was really young) so now I'm up to 16 or 17... somewhere thereabouts.

back to what I was talking about earlier.

We had very specific orders with which we could set up the tree.

After we got it cut to size, or mounted (back when we had a fake tree, which was terribly ugly) we would then put on Christmas lights, and then we would put on garland and the like. As soon as those were on we were allowed to start putting on our ornaments.

I have four siblings, so we have had many ornaments to fit on the tree, and we had to hurry to get our ornaments to the prime positions where people would actually see our beautiful ornaments, we wanted to say, "ooh that ones mine. as is that one, and that one." In retrospect I feel sorry for those people who would come to our house and get stuck looking at all of our ornaments as we showed them all of our ornaments.

One of my favorite ornaments was a house that you plug a Christmas tree light into and it lights up. We had one blue light, and all of the rest were white, so as soon as we would get the tree up, I would grab my house ornaments, and wait till we finished the garland. As soon as we would get even close to being finished I remember practically diving for that blue light bulb.

See I had found out that the blue light made it look kind of like a haunted house, especially if one set the lights to flashing. (I was quite into the Christmas spirit obviously)

At the time, I had thought everyone else was trying to get that blue light. I found out later, that I was like the only one who really thought much about getting all of my ornaments onto the best spots.

One year in fact I had thought about figuring the best order to go with the toys that are the hardest to find spots for and work my way down... you know... increasing efficency, and cutting down on time needed.

I think the others knew about this, cause once, when I talked about it to the family they just started chuckling. I would then try to remind them of how they did it too... didn't work.

I think maybe I am a little over competitive.

Nate

Imaginary Genius?

2005-01-24T13:10:00.000-06:00

Legos build imaginary genius.

That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Through legos, I have held many occupations. I remember one christmas my parents got us children a hospital set of legos. it took us all afternoon, but eventually we got it set up, just how it was supposed to be. I can remember using that, and pretending I was a doctor... never did find a nurse, problems with most of my siblings being guys.

It's funny though, I had fun helping to put that set together (actually, I did very little of it, I think I may have put the ambulence together, and ran it across the floor all afternoon while making the siren noise). After it was all together, and we tore it apart, it never got put back like a hospital again. I think it became anything from a little house, to an airplane, to whatever.

I also remember once that my older brother had gotten into trouble for some reason, and was sent to his room. Being the nice younger brother I was, I went in to hang out with him (without my mom's knowledge I think) to see what he was up to.

It turns out, for a birthday or something, he had received a set of legos that was supposed to be put together to make a castle. The set had several army type men, with an array of weapons, and horses, and the like. When he first got it, it took him almost a week to put the whole thing together (the problem with not following the instructions.) but, once he did get it put together the thing stood on his dresser for years, with the exception of some of the men. He had a much more devious use for them.

Back to the story, I came into the room to see what he was up to, and I saw that he was rubbing something against the cement floor. I asked him what it was, at first he wouldn't show me, but after a bit of prodding he produced one of the plastic swords from his lego set.

I looked at him with a bit of a raised eyebrow, and I was thinking.. ok, why is he rubbing the floor with a toy sword, has he gone nuts?

well, like I said, legos promote imaginary genius.

Apparently he was quite proud of what he had been doing, because he quickly explained what he was up to. "I'm sharpening my swords" he said.

I was thinking.. okkk, has he really gone off the deep end? sharpening inch long plastic swords?

He then offered to prove to me that they were sharp, "no that's ok" I responded. I don't think he really listened cause he pinched me with them anyway, and I must admit, they were rather sharp.

the question is, why was he sharpening them. well, I suppose that's a story for another day, seeing as I really don't know the reason. My guess is that it was a sibling fight, so I suppose it should more accurately be

Legos, and anger, provide for imaginary genius

It was only imaginary genius, cause he didn't see the pain that would befall him in the form of my mom, and dad.

Nate

Sold my soul to the devil, for a quarter

2005-01-21T15:08:00.000-06:00

Yes, I will admit it, I sold my soul to the devil.

I didn't know it was the devil when I did it. I just wanted the quarter. Besides that she seemed nice, and the set up seemed believable.

I was paid to sell my good looks, turns out she was going to take pictures of me... though I'm not really sure why. She wasn't very straightforward with me on that particular aspect.

All I know, is that we (me and the other person she paid) had to go through 30 minutes of makeup. I guess it looks better when pictures are taken. There wasn't digital photography back then, and so it was difficult to do touchups after the picture was taken.

I was very questioning of the makeup, but I had no choice. She was very persuasive. "No doubt about it" she told me, "all of the television actors have their make up done, even the men"

a lightbulb clicked in my head, hmm, maybe she was going to make a movie, and she was paying us to take part. won't this be cool. I mean, like I said, she seems really nice, I'm sure that's what she's doing.

Then we had to get dressed, which messed up our makeup a bit... (so we had to go through a bit of that again) I understood why we would have to get dressed up, but still, like that? I did not understand that in the least.

but, oh, was she convincing. "I Loovveeee those clothes on you!" "Those clothes look simply adorable on you." I wasn't to sure what to think of being told things looked adorable on me, but then again, that's one of her mannerisms when she talks. she also calls people "hun" and "darling" and if you're a girl "sweetie."

She also had a few different sets made for us to pose in. these I really didn't question much at all. Perhaps I was trying to sell a brand of tea?

I remember thinking "Ah, that's it. She must be taking pictures of me to sell products"

Sadly, that was not the case.

Like I said, she is the devil, and I sold my soul to her. If I could there is no doubt I'd give her the quarter back, and never experience it. What is done is done, however, and there's nothing I can do about it

Now almost 14 years after I was originally photographed I am finally talking about it.

Now she threatens to show these pictures to any girlfriend I might have.

I can picture her talking to them, "ooh look at his makeup, wasn't he cute?"

The she would poing back at the pictures and say "and check out his dresses, those were my favorite back then, doesn't he look simply adorable in those dresses?"

she would then laugh histerically, and say, "Hahaha ooh, and check it out, in this one we were having tea, he looks like a queen"

my girlfriend would spot another picture, and would point it out "check that out, he's sitting in a pen made out of chairs with a sign on it saying Kathleen the Cow"

Haha, what a riot.

Yes, I sold my soul to the devil. I hope none of you ever make the same mistake. it's not worth it. Personally, I never expected it, like I said she was so nice,

and she was my sister

Nate

Fishing?

2005-01-19T18:56:00.000-06:00

Why would anybody ever let a 7 year old fish by himself?

Not that I would have ever listened.

I had fishing all figured out. It didn't matter how big the fish were. whoever caught the most did the best. (come to think of it, I cannot remember ever catching a fish larger than a bluegill, at least not on those trips)

Let me back up a little bit.

Once or maybe twice a summer when we were realatively young my brothers (one older, and one younger) would go with my dad to the lake, camp over night and fish (In my opinion, in order to go camping one has to fish as well) we would buy lots of worms the morning that we drove to the lake (none of those fake bait options) .

After arriving at the lake, we would spend the first few hours (at least it seemed like hours). un-knotting the fishing line and fixing our reels. Once we got everything together we quickly spread way apart and began to fish at a distance from each other of about five feet.

Every once in a while we would catch a fish, for some reason we were grossed out at the thought of touching this fish, so we would yell for our dad, and ask him to come and take the fish of the line, and throw it back in (they weren't even close to large enough to eat).

We all loved competition (at least I did) and whenever we would catch a fish we would add it to our running total.

One time in particular I was behind by a few catches, and I caught this fish, being incredibly adventurous I took it off of the line, and put the fish back in. Knowing a little bit about fishing I put my line back almost exactly in the same place I caught the last one, as luck would have it I caught another fish.

Before long, I had caught up to my brother in fish caught. I began to notice something peculiar I noticed that every single fish I took in had almost identical markings. It could almost be said that it was the same fish. I thought about this a little bit, and I realized this was the case. I had been putting the fish back in the same place every time, and I came to realize that the pocket of water I was releasing the fish back into was enclosed.

Did this information stop me?

HAHA, no, I'm too competitive.

I kept releasing it and putting it back. within an hour I had 19 catches, which was most definitely a record. My brother had of course realized what was going on, so my victory was not as satisfactory as possible. but, hey, I still have the record. 19 catches in an hour :D

Nate

I wanna be a cowboy baby

2005-01-15T20:42:00.000-06:00

When I was younger I always wished I would have grown up in the country.

I thought that it could happen, I mean, my parents wished they lived in a rural area as well... but no such luck. That wouldn't stop my vivid imagination though.

I absolutely loved to read, and I almost always had my head in a book, I particularly loved the type of book that had kids my age who lived in the country. there were books about danny orlis, and many others that I can't really remember at the moment. I also liked the "House of Winslow" series by gilbert morris which took place early in american history. Of course I was too young to realize that every lasat one of the books followed almost the exact same plot, and were very formulaic. Even if I had known it wouldn't have mattered, because reading those allowed me to pretend... I was a cowboy, (baby).

I can also remember, on a day quite similar to today (I.E. cold and with snow on the ground) I got a bright idea, that I would make a snowman. so I started making the first big ball of snow, and then I thought, well, whats the point of making a snowman... so I decided to see how big I could make the one ball. Eventually, I got it so large I couldn't push it so then I found one of my brothers, and got him to help me push it. When it was finally done growing it was probably about 4.5-5 feet in diameter (pretty darn heavy).

Soon after we completed making the immense snowball, I figured out what I could use it for. I chiseled out a little part to make a head, and I practiced my horse mounting, or rather snowball mounting skills. I knew some people used little stools, but I had decided that in the event that we actually did move to the country and get horses or whatever I would be ready.

I distinctly remember my first try.. I was so excited, I wanted to be sure I got all the way up to the top, so I backed up probably 15-20 feet. Then I got a running start, and jumped. I guess I must have been a little too excited, because when I jumped I made it, and touched the top, and then continued on over the snowball landing flat on my face.

It turns out I had multiple things going against me. for one, a sibling of mine had snuck out and soaked it with water, which had quickly frozen and become quite slick. The other difficulty was that it is somewhat difficult to land on a round thing, without falling off.

As I have gotten older I don't think that I have ever lost my desire to be a cowboy. I always wear boot cut wrangler like jeans. Sometimes I wear my belt with the huge buckle, and my stetson. I know I will never be a real Cowboy, but hey, a boy can dream.

I think tomorrow I may make another big snowball.

bring back old times :D

Nate

Likely to commit suicide?

2005-01-15T15:42:00.000-06:00

I love country music.

I want to be a counselor.

I'm a white male.

things are just looking badly for me... at least according to the statistics I've found.

supposedly the counseling profession has one of the highest rates of suicide out of any profession, though, at least I'm not trying to be a police officer. they have an even higher rate of suicide.

according to my lovely sociology class that I took last quarter, white men are the largest proportion of suicides.

and to top it all off, I listen to country music. NOOO now, it's almost assured. According to this study, Country Music and Suicide, People who listen to country music are much more likely to kill themselves than the rest of the general population.

I'm not quite sure why these songs make people want to kill themselves. I personally find them quite enjoyable... actually as a coworker once put it, when I start listening to country music, my mood improves 100%. Obviously, they're the experts. they know that if you listen to country music you're way more likely to kill yourself.

Guess as I try to convert others to country music I shall try to avoid mentioning this silly study.

No offense to them, but I think that their study probably just exposes some coincedences. for example, the fact that whether or not the Washington Redskins win or lose their last homegame prior to an election decides whether or not the incumbent president will win. it was just a coincedence.. there was no real connection between the two. I personally don't think there's a connection between them now. At least I hope not.

either way stats don't affect much of anything in that respect.

so even though they say I'm more likely to commit suicide than most... sorry to prove them wrong, but it's just not going to happen.

Nate

No medicine if you can't read

2005-01-14T21:07:00.000-06:00

We don't want you to take our medicine.

This was in a television ad that was purported to be a public service announcement.

The woman that was speaking worked for a respected, huge supplier of over the counter medicine. She is the person who makes sure that the instructions and stuff on the label is accurate and contains no mistakes.

So, after explaining what she did... she said, if you aren't going to take the time, or if you aren't going to read the instructions we'd prefer it if you don't take our medicine.

I guess that the reason is because it's very strong medicine.. yadda yadda yadda.

but, my question is this... what about the poor people who can't read? are they not supposed to take your medicine, because they can't read the backs of the containers?

well, you might be saying "they could get someone to explain it to them"

though, the question that remains... would they actually be willing to do that? and beyond that, would that be ok?

I mean, I know that at work, I would ask somebody how many pills I should take, and they would be like, well, you should probably take 5-6 nothing less will do anything. However, I then read the packages and it said take two ever 6 hours.

So obviously one can't always trust those that give advice as to what they should take for medicine.

Something has to be done. The drug companies don't want them to take their pills if they won't read the instructions, and they can't always trust others to tell them what they should take...

My personal suggestion is that they get a little chip with a speaker that will go on pill boxes and read the directions before you take the pill.

Or they could get something that would scan pill boxes and would read the directions to the blind, or illiterate person. hmm, either way something should be done.

doncha think?

Nate

Tendentious Free?

2005-01-13T17:48:00.000-06:00

Tendentious - \ten-DEN-shus\ adjective - marked by a tendency in favor of a particular point of view

In other words, it means "Biased"

Personally, I would much rather the term Tendentious over biased... cause biased has such a negative connotation.

I mean, think about it... it's soo bad to be biased that...

In courts of law, they will not let you serve on a Jury, if they think you're biased in the case.

If there is an arguement if one can paint the other as biased... he stands a good chance of winning. or, rather, what he says.. if he appears to be unbiased will establish much more credibility in the majority of peoples minds.

If one appears to be biased, any solid arguement will be ignored by the opposing side... (at least this is often the case. )

Of course, there is probably good reason... I mean if one was biased such that, that no matter what, a guy was guilty of stealing something... even if he didn't do it, that wouldn't be fair would it?

then there's the whole group of people who are biased against those of another race, or religion or whatever... which can be very dangerous.. so obviously this can be very bad..

but...

I would also say that there are times when being Tendentious can be quite helpful...

for instance, being biased against people offering rides in a car...

or, Knowing that no matter what, your parents (or somebody else)believes in you... and that they are biased in favor of you.

I wish that we could get rid of bias.. or tendention, but, I think it's a fact of life. I mean, because we are such a diverse country how can we keep from being biased? if we see a teenager dressed "Gothic" we automatically gather some guesses about that person. Even though we may not do it intentionally... we do it anyway. (at least, I think we all do it... there could be exceptions.)

If there was no evil in the world... perhaps there would be no bias...

hmm, that could happen

Nah..

Not that I'm trying to be pessimistic, but In my opinion, there's no way we'll ever be free from our tendentious thoughts.

Nate

I'm (not) in a hurry to get things done

2005-01-12T17:14:00.000-06:00

Serendipity - The phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought after.

Life is busy...

When we drive we want to take the fastest possibly routes. Even if we are on these incredibly fast routes, I guaruntee you, that unless a police officer was right behind there would be a people going even faster than the speed limit.

Life Lacks Free time...

Until the age of retirement, it seems that we lose our free time. In order to make huge amounts of money, we sell most of our time. people will work 70-80 hour work weeks if not more just to bring home a nice lookin' paycheck. We have our computers, our email, our internet... and lots of other technology, yet we have less time than ever to spend with friends and family.

The problem is that even though it is easier and easier to communicate, it's also much easier to work. A manager at work is "on-call" practically 24-7... especially if he own's his own business.

With all of this stuff going on, where's the chance for "Serendipity"

I remember once when driving to a baseball tournament in Kansas we got lost. well, we sort of got lost, anyway we found this wonderful little restaurant. I've never been there before or since... but what I do remember is that it was absolutely great, it had the country kitchen look, with the checkered table cloth... and the cheeseburgers and french fries mmm.. mmm... And we never would have found it if not for getting lost.

Or there's always the time down by interstate 80 where a friend of mine went and ate a 2 pound burger... If eaten within the time limit of 2 hours they give a free tee shirt, and the put your picture up on the wall (apparently not too many people can down that much food.) What is a better example of Serendipity than that. They just stopped in one day, as they were driving to the rocky mountains, and when they came back they had their picture on the wall at a restaurant.

Think about it what is the likelihood of ever finding a restaurant like that when one is trying to get things done as quickly as possible.. and then they have to settle for something like McDonalds. When they could be chowing down on two pounds of beef perfection.

Or better yet, my most recent occurence of "Serendipity" was when I found a restaurant named "Around the Bend" it's right by South Bend here in Nebraska. They have one of the most unusual palettes that I have ever seen as far as food is concerned... In june, there's this thing called the "Testicle Festival" there's cow "parts", and pig "parts", brain, tongue, hoof, and lots of other disgusting foods (if one can call them that) .

hmm, maybe I'll have to come back for that... should be interesting

Nate

Free, Free, Free

2005-01-06T19:04:00.000-06:00

Why is it that society gets to dictate what we say?

I mean, we have free speech of course, but as we age, most of us learn what is improper to say around others.

in the 1800's Kate Chopin was a rebel feminist writer who wrote a story addressing a very similar thing. in it a woman who had been married for many years was told of her husbands death. She was of course grieved, but then she began to whisper, and then speak aloud "Free, Free, Free" (she had gone into a seperate room so they wouldn't hear) , she had realized that even though her husband had always loved her, she was finally free to do what she wished (as I said.. it was a feminist story)

at that point in time, and even now that is not a generally accepted way to speak or think. I mean, I can not even imagine hearing that my wife had died, and being glad because at last I was free, Especially if I knew she had always cared deeply and loved me.

Other eamples of people going against society's norms can be seen in the comic strip "Dennis the Menace" in which at multiple times Dennis' dad would have a business person come over for supper, and Dennis would make a crack, like, "Sir, do you need some soap? dad says you have sticky fingers"

Ahh the times of childhood, when I could say whatever I wanted, and I wouldn't get in trouble for it, or for that matter, receive a swift kick in the shins. I think it's odd how one can think something, but be controlled by the fear of what others think.

For instance, asking a person out on a date.

Or, confessing to somebody you care about that you did something wrong

or for others, it might be doing something in front of others that one isn't comfortable with.

There are literally hundreds of reasons...

However, I would also say there are good things about somewhat being controlled a bit by society. It can help from hurting people, and something even if thought just don't need to be said.. now, perhaps that sounds like me imposing my views, well, too bad. It's my blog. I really think there are things that shouldn't be said, and thankfully for the most part society doesn't accept them :)

All in all, there are positives and negatives.. now to find the perfect medium

Nate

Winter Weather Advisory

2005-01-04T23:24:00.000-06:00

My car is homeless.

poor fella.

Over the past few days winter has hit nebraska hard and fast. The other day, people across the state were waking up with 1/4 inch of ice on the windshields of their cars. Unless the cars were lucky enough to be garaged.

and now, between today and tomorrow, we are supposed to receive another 6-12 inches of snow. Yeehaw. My poor little honda civic.

If only the weather would change. I've had enough of it being like this. why can't it simply go back to the way I like it, nice, warm 70 degrees... hmm, now that's what I'm talking about. But no, that's what I get for living here.

it's not that other places don't have it worse, in particular you poor canadians, and people farther north than me, I feel for you.

The thing is, it just can't be right that I can walk outside dressed in multiple layers of clothing, and have my feet go numb, with my toes nearly freezing off after just a few minutes in the cold weather.

Somehow, my dad actually enjoys it. He can stay outside in the cold for hours on end. In fact, he loves the snow (something I have a distinct dislike for) and he doesn't mind shoveling it in the least.

I will admit, during the summer, I (like many others) occasionaly wish it would be a bit cooler, and that it would be better if it was cold like in winter, rather than the heat of july. In fact, I can even think up reasons that cold is better than heat. Such as, one can always put on more clothes, but there is a limit as to how many a person can take off.

but, this is ridiculous. 30 minutes spent in -6 degree weather, scraping off my car windows, so that I could drive 35 mph (in a 50) to get to work. This never happens in warm weather.

I would see cars whos side windows had holes in the ice about the size of a fist chisiled out, just because they had to get going somewhere. There was one car in particular who didn't even scrape off the side windows, and had to open the car doors at intersections to see if traffic was coming from a different direction (funny to watch as the person driving behind him)

Stupid cold weather.

at least there's only 2-3 more months of it.

Nate

Deceiving ones self

2005-01-03T21:17:00.000-06:00

Many people lie, but why would one do it to ones own self?

I think this happens quite often. Perhaps, most commonely in the beginning of relationships.

I've heard that the first two months are called "utopia" because one sees everything that the other person does as perfect, or cute. There are no "problems" hence the word utopia.

as most people realize this "utopia" is just a faze, it doesn't really stay for very long, because we cannot continually think that the other person is perfect. After a while, we no longer deceive ourselves, and know that this person is human.

Another example might be a friend, whom you have known for years, and you always liked this friend... but you didn't realize just how shallow he/she was. In otherwords, you might deceive yourself that this other person would make a good friend, or is a good friend, even though if you were to take a few steps back from the picture you could tell that this friend wasn't so great. maybe, he/she gets you to steal things, maybe he/she ignores you... who knows, there are a million options.

it happens when we buy things, cause we think we need it, or it'll make us happier. No offense, but, a lot of things don't increase happiness.

or when we say that even we've been abused by someone else, it won't happen again, cause he/she said she was sorry, and they promised they'd never do it again.

It seems to me that it is incredibly easy to deceive myself into thinking something. like saying that someone is a perfect match, or someone is great and I want to hang out with that person because he/she appears to be an incredibly nice, Godly guy... problem is that up close, in the moment it's hard to tell.

but back up and look at the facts, it's much easier. I believe this is one advantage to having true, good friends and family. People who watch out for us, even when we don't really want them to. Because they can see more clearly than we can. (at least sometimes they can)

Nate

To my future wife

2004-12-29T18:48:00.000-06:00

Honey,

I love you more than you I have imagined possible
I can't wait to meet you, that is if I haven't already.

Our wedding day is one that I will never forget,
and seeing you is a sight that shall not leave my mind

Ever since my younger days I have imagined my life with you.
It is hard to believe that my dreams will come to reality with someone as wonderful as you

I can see your eyes sparkling,
The sun shining off of your beautiful smile,
Your infectious laughter that makes me laugh no matter how hard I try not to.

You are the one who can make me smile no matter how hard I try not to.
you are the one who makes me forget all the things that are wrong.

I want to grow old with you,
to sit in the park and throw bread to the birds,
to play scrabble, (I'll let you win)
to watch movies with you, and holding you in my arms
I want to sit by a fireplace on a cold evening just you and me enjoying each other's company

you are the one with whom I want to share my life
and I hope to take part in your life
no matter what we are in this together
through good times and bad
in sickness and in health
We will go through some tough times together
but I KNOW we will make it through them, stronger in our love than ever before.

Just seeing you brings a light to my eyes,
I love you
not just your looks,
not just your personality
not just what you can or can't do
I love you for you, because you are you, and nothing will change that.

I have waited for you and will continue to do so

In loving anticipation,
always and forever yours
your future husband

Nate W.

P.S. Just so you know, I love you... whoever may be

to end an argument...

2004-12-27T17:05:00.000-06:00

A sure way to end an argument is to get the other person to laugh.

don't believe me?

Just think about it. Most of the time when arguments occur both parties are rather heated. or that can escalate to people being heated.

therefore, when the reverse happens, people cool off... the argument is usually over.

I know this works for me, so I figure it must work for everyone right? :) and it even works beyond simply arguments.

For example, it works quite well when I'm in a bad mood (which rarely happens of course)

When I am in a bad mood, I shut up (perhaps this is a good thing as it keeps as SC&A would say, meaningless drivel from being spoken by me). meanwhile I just think about the horrid wrong that has been done to me, and how awful it was. The more I think about it, the more angry I get.

However, I have discovered, that if people can get me talking my mood immediately begins to improve. I have also found that if someone can get me to chuckle, there goes my bad mood out the window.

well, I do want to mention, that this was not something that I wanted to figure out. I didn't want to know this, because sometimes I just like being angry, I mean really... why not. sigh, so that's why I don't tell real people (otherwise known as people who know me in real life) about this being the way to make my mood improve.

However, my guess is that getting people to laugh and chat will often help improve their moods. as long as they aren't just talking about how horribly they have been wronged.

So, if you're somebody who knows me, and miraculously found this post, just forget how to make me happy. :) j.k.

Nate

We want it till we have it.

2004-12-24T18:26:00.000-06:00

Time is a phenomenon... IMO

Through most of my childhood, I always wanted time pass. I wanted to be older, I couldn't wait for what my life would be like when I had this and that. I would not have to do chores (ha so much for that one) and life would just be great.

The Beach Boys seem to have had a similar thought in their song, "Wouldn't it be nice if we were older." Many of us want time to pass quickly, to be married, to have that perfect job that we're in school for, to get off of work for the day, or maybe to end a bad movie-dinner date ;) j.k.

But, once we get it... or have what we have desired for, we wish that we had some of that time back. In a country song titled "My Next 30 years" a guy is looking back over his life and realizing how much time he has wasted. He knows he can't go back and change it no matter how hard he tries. Therefore, he decides to change his next 30 years.

Another similar song, is one by Tim McGraw, titled "Live Like You Were Dying" in which his father dies, and he realizes how fragile life is.

this continues with other examples, not necessarily to the same extreme. But I can remember times when I really wanted to buy a Nintendo Gamecube. My friend had one and he played it all the time, he was always telling me how awesome it was, and so my extremely logical response was to spend my hard earned money on a little box.

I played it a fair amount at the start, but soon I completely stopped using it, and I realized "what a waste" cause there were many other options that I could have spent the money on. but no... I wanted it, so I got it.

There's also perhaps the boy who wants the sex, and ends up paying the child support, and wishing he's never made that rash decision.

Now it seems to me that there is something to be said for listening to others when they give advice. (particularly elders who have lived through life much longer than us young'uns). Doing that will in many cases protect us from making mistakes that could easily be avoided.

If an elder tells us to enjoy our youth, cause we only have it once, I believe that would be a very worthy opinion to consider... :) Or, tells us that we need to work on homework... *bleck*

anyway, that's just my thought,
Merry Christmas

Nate

(trying to enjoy my christmas... it'll be the only one I ever have at age 20)

I Quit ( I wish)

2004-12-23T17:04:00.000-06:00

For the last couple of years I have really wanted to quit my job.

Of course the problem with doing that, is the fact that I have some bills... and I need to pay those.

plus all in all, my job isn't that bad, I mean, there are things that I would rather do. However, I have relatively flexible hours which I can change to work around school or church activities or whatever...

anyway I have been wanting to say "I quit" but the problem is that's not all I want to say

I also want to tell them why I'm quitting... for example I want to say

I quit because

you move me from store to store too much

you make a big deal over very little. (they stick little post it notes on the door for everything.) once there was a note saying "it is very important that you do not yawn while a customer can see you, it is unprofessional."

you give preference to newer people and subject the people who have worked longer to the crappy shifts. and the split shifts.

You rarely give me a raise in pay, and when you do give me a raise, it does not keep up with the cost of living. so every year I actually make less than the year before.

you are stingy with time off while we are on step (student tuition reimbursement) in other words, you will give me none during that time.

If one is a shift supervisor or what not, the pay does not increase, only the fact that one has more responsibilities, and has to travel more. but as I've said... pay stays the same.

You seem to be gradually phasing out STEP, by making us work more hours for less reimbursement

sigh.. there are other reasons that I want to quit... but I'm guessing that some of you probably have similar circumstances. or other things that bite about work

personally the only reason I still work there, is because of STEP, and because I really enjoy some of the other employees.

Anyway, please feel free to say what reasons you love/hate work.

Nate

(the one thing that keeps me going is in less than 8 months I will be moving away, and will have to quite :) muahahaha)

Dear Sir/Ma'am

2004-12-22T18:51:00.000-06:00

Dear Sir/Ma'am,

I deeply express my thanks for your willingness to serve our country.

It's hard to believe that a little more than three years ago terrorists smashed planes into the WTC in New York. Since then we have been on the offensive, attacking terror in various places around the globe and attempting to protect the US of A as best can be defensed. I thank you for being there when our country has called you to the lines, in whatever manner you have been called.

I would like to say that you are always in my thoughts and prayers, but sadly I sometimes tend to take for granted the things that you help provide for our country, and the things that you are doing.

On one side, I suppose that may be a good thing, because, you are doing such an excellent job that I often do not even think about it. However, you are deserving of constant thought and prayers.

For those of you serving abroad, for the most part, you have been doing a fantastic job of representing America to the rest of the world. When people from another country see you they think that what you are like is what all Americans are like.

Even though some are against the war, it is important to know that most all of us are for you. We desperately want to thank you for what you have done. We know that it must be hard to be away from your families during the holiday season, but thank you very much.

Merry Christmas
Nate

Why Dinner and a movie?

2004-12-21T22:52:00.000-06:00

Is dinner and a movie a great date night?

well, I suppose it can be. That is, if the movie is left out of the equation.

It seems like one of the most common dates is to take somebody to dinner and then to a movie. If the guy is somewhat nice... or smart, he'll probably take the girl to a "chick flick" or at the very least, he'll let her pick the movie. in many cases they go back home, one drops the other off at their house, and continues on.

here's my problem with it

I may be old fashioned (at the ripe old age of 20 :D) but I think the most important part of dates, is the communication aspect. Which is where the dinner part comes in to play, but after that hour or so, then what?

I'm sorry, but a movie is not exactly the best place to facilitate discussion about the finer things in life. or even, what you've been up to this week.

Perhaps the reason for the movie, is because the couple gets so incredibly tired of talking to each other that while they want to be by each other, they also don't feel like talking. who knows.
on a side note, perhaps going to a movie is setting into motion the psychological effects of the guy watching a football game and not wanting to talk. because he is used the fact that while watching a screen, communication is not necessary.

Personally, I think that the best dates are ones that involve open communication, and are perhaps a bit unorthodox. or at the very least a change from the norm.

For instance, I think a good time could be had
at a pond feeding ducks... and talking
at a bowling alley... talking
at a picnic... talking
shopping, and.. talking
running, and talking
playing board games... talking

you get the idea... communication.

Now I'll admit... I've done the whole dinner and a movie thing, it's not always a bad idea, really, I don't think it's the best idea.

I suppose that one good thing that comes out of movies is that there is something to talk about, but if the guy is anything like me. he'll embarrass himself enough to provide for plenty of conversation

Nate

Christmas Gifts

2004-12-20T18:05:00.000-06:00

Yes, I'm sorry to say this post is probably unoriginal. The problem is Christmas gifts are on my mind, so that's what I'm writing about.

A while back somebody suggested not doing christmas gifts this year. When I heard him say that I immediately thought what??? that's ridiculous. I mean, a Christmas with no presents?

The thought of presents for Christmas is thouroughly ingrained in my head, and I am so incredibly used to the idea, that anything else boggles the mind.

but why not?

As I think back to last year, for the life of me, I can only remember one thing that a person gave me for a Christmas present. Sad isn't it? A friend or family member gives me something, and I cannot remember what it is that they bought me. Even within a few months I have a hard time remembering.

I do know that I can remember almost everything that I bought for people last year though.

interesting isn't it? I know most everyone has heard the whole, "It is more blessed to give than receive." However, hard as it is (because I like receiving), I believe it's true.

Just think how wonderful it would be without christmas gifts... People wouldn't be getting enraged cause they are waiting in a store for an hour in line. or traffic into bestbuy would not wrap halfway around the block, just to get into the store. A friend of mine was commenting that since he got married he has 7 more nieces and nephews that he "has to buy gifts for". I think that quite summs up the problem, giving gifts is no longer just something done because they are doing something nice for you, it has become more of a chore. I have to get him something, because I'm getting her something, and he would feel left out.

The stress of the season is ridiculous, people seem to be more and more stuck on going into debt, and having a list of things a mile long that needs to be done every day.

As stated previously, I have always been one to get into the whole gift giving thing, but the most important part of Christmas is 1.) God, and 2.) family. sorry, but gifts, at least in my mind does not even place on the list (at least not till number 7) :)

Nate

Dormitory = Dirty Room

2004-12-16T13:34:00.000-06:00

If one were to rearrange the letters in Dormitory it could become dirty room.

How true.

I know that I have to keep my room at a certain level of cleanliness, for when they come and inspect it, but hey, that's what the advanced warning is for. I mean, they always come inspect it on the same day every month. :)

You'd think they would learn. we sure have.

We can let our room get as dirty as we want, (pretty bad sometimes) and then, a day or two before they come back, we clean up. so after all once a month its rather clean. right?

See, while I will admit that if I walk into a friends room, that is absolutely spotless, I will be impressed. I actually think it's almost a drug, seeing a clean room, cause it makes me happier. Even so I wouldn't change my room.

well, for two reasons. one being, I'm lazy

and reason number two, is it's an organized messy. i mean, to the outside observer, it looks chaotic, but to me, heck I can find anything. do you want the pop top from the bottle of coke I drank Jan, 17 2003? well, I can find that for you (well, I could if I had drank a bottle of coke that day, and had kept the top).

I mean heck, after 30 minutes of looking I even found my pair of jeans that I was going to wear today. I knew right where they were, the only problem was getting to them... you know, bad back and all ;)

truth be told, I'm envious of people who actually do what they're supposed to and put stuff away, and keep it looking marvelous, but hey... ya gotta be happy for who you are right?

I suppose it'll probably change, when I get a living space of my own, well, I hope it will... because I definitely can not change the letters for apartment to dirty room... just doesn't work.

Nate

Catch 22

2004-12-14T22:42:00.001-06:00

Affirmative Action intrigues me.

I mean, it is something that was started because minorities have been oppressed for years and years, so some of the majority is trying to fix that. the idea was that they would force people to not use race or gender as a reason to hire people, or fire anybody.

Meanwhile this got pushed on bigger companies in particular who began to attempt to meet their "quota" of minorities, and thus would be more likely to hire minorities, so that they could have more of a mixed employee group.

As one would expect some of the minorities are obviously pleased by this turn in events, where they get jobs, that would normally be given to white males, instead the minority would have a chance at them.

However, surprisingly to me, many minorities actually feel that affirmative action is holding them down.

Let me explain.

The thought is that they are being hired as simply because of their race and not because they deserve it. Quite simply, people would know that they were only hired because of their color, and it was an act of discrimination itself. After all, if they were never forced to earn it themselves, they would be at the power of the white man to keep their power.

for example, UC Berkely has a quota for a certain amount of Black students that they want to attend. therefore, they pass up on some White students with perfect GPA's and take some Black students with much lower GPA's.

the problem is that these Black students with the lower GPA's entering UC Berkely have a very difficult time in adjusting to the intense school experience and often flunk out. whereas, if they had gone to a school that was less academically intense they might have done better, and thus had a better college experience and learned more.

I find this quite intriguing, it's kind of a catch 22, I mean, something needed to be done, because it was entirely white men at the top, and there were very few chances to improve if you were a minority (just ask Jim Crowe).

However, it seems perhaps we have done to much. Personally, I attribute this to our attempt as a society to go for the quick fix. I know we had to do something, but what?

Like I said... a Catch 22

Rule of Thumb...

2004-12-13T17:54:00.000-06:00

According to "Boondock Saints" the rule of thumb is that a husband can beat his wife, as long as what he is using is not wider than the thickness of his thumb.

This was abolished long ago. it is not right to beat another person.

well, I was in my beloved sociology class, my teacher brought up the rule of thumb, and asked if we knew what it was. Like a complete idiot I answered her. dumb dumb dumb.

for some reason, she seems to distrust men, or flat out dislikes them. she is constantly making comments about how horrible men are, and women are always the depraved children of society. so much so, that whenever she makes comments like that, I just find it almost funny now, and I start to smile.

well, when I smiled, she became really mad, She then stated "I think deep down you are a wife beater"

What the crap, I mean, really. where does she get off saying that I am a wife beater? she doesn't even know me at all. and she's a teacher in front of the whole class. and she berates me like that?

When she said that I almost just picked my stuff up and walked out of the class. but I didn't, I didn't even say anything back at her.

I don't know if I should do anything about it, or not... but I think what she did is pretty wrong.

Sigh,

Nate

The Perfect Gift

2004-12-11T19:27:00.000-06:00

I think I have found the perfect gift.

and it's for somebody else too!!

Tonight I went Christmas gift shopping. I usually only have difficulty finding one persons gift. My sister. My mom is difficult too, but I usually combine my mom's gift with dad's

I think personally that the reason for this is that I am a guy, and I just do not have the proper insight into finding gifts for women. Perhaps this is a common problem for guys, I dunno. What I do know, however, is that It is a problem for me.

Most of the time, when I need to get my sis a gift I try to get my mom to help pick it out. Sometimes I even get my mom to purchase it for her (I'm a wimp... when it comes to shopping in the female sections of stores)

but not tonight. Nosireeee

see usually the problem is, I can remember going shopping with my sister. I remember mostly that what I really like, many times she will absolutely hate it.

This happens with others too... This one girl, I would go shopping with, and I would be like "oh I like this" and she's like... "hellloooo, that is soo out dated."

Thus I developed a fear of shopping for girls, but perhaps that changed tonight. See I found this gift that I am very proud of. as a matter of fact, it's awesome. Not that it was really expensive, cause it wasn't, but, it fits her like a glove.

I found this gift and I thought "OH MY GOODNESS THAT IS SOOO H."

I showed it to my mother, and she agreed that my sister would love it. so, let this be a lesson to you guys out there. When shopping seems hopeless, and no matter what you get the girl she won't like.

It is possible. I promise

Nate

Action movies are Chick Flicks

2004-12-10T16:58:00.000-06:00

Almost all action movies are chick flicks.

At least, that’s what we decided last time my older brothers fiancée was in town.

We told her that many action movies have the same pieces as some fairly fluffy movies. For instance, both action movies, and chick flicks have

1.) Romance

2.) Action (for instance people getting hit by cars or as in wedding planner a trash can coming to run her over)

3.) A hero, or prince charming type

4.) Pretty women, dating… etc.

We were watching “Lethal Weapon” at the time, and as pointed out, in the movie there is a girl (actually there is one in all 4) obviously there is some action, a hero (duh… Gibson) and a pretty woman (bad hairstyle… but what can you say it was the 80’s/early 90’s)

She then retorted that “Lethal Weapon” was not a chick flick, cause there was too much action.

However, we replied that even in action movies, much of what a guy often does is because of a girl. He does it because the girl means something to him… and this is in my opinion the essence of a chick flick.

Well, whatever. Just cause there’s a lot of action does not mean that it is not a chick flick.

Take for instance, the best movie ever (my subjective opinion) “Princess Bride” it had a ton of action, from fencing, to fighting, throwing rocks at each other, poisoning (which is a bit girly, but what can you say), attempted suicide, attacking eels, battling ROUS’s, being tortured and several other things that are not coming to my mind.

However, it is completely and totally a chick flick. The whole movie is about “True Love” which may only come about once in many generations, and is unstoppable (sadly, as I have learned this is incorrect) The guy “Westley” is one man who will give his all, to get a woman who consistently gives up on him.

She also makes choices that while they were made to help him, actually hinder him. She gives him up, so that he would live, but in reality she almost cost him his life, and her.

Hmm, it seems to me that most movies could be taken either way. If one wants to he could presume a movie to be a chick flick, or a action movie, or… a drama. Find one funny joke and one could call it a comedy.

Obviously, there is a definition of when a movie is a chick flick, and when it is an action movie. My personal opinion is that the way it is decided is in the previews, and what parts of the movie they show. Also perhaps, it might be decided by the proportion of the romance within the movie (which would make Princess Bride and action movie) hmm.

Nate

A great christmas present? HA!!

2004-12-09T17:58:00.000-06:00

Some commercials are incredibly stupid.

Lately, while listening to the radio I have been hearing commercials for "Release" whose slogan is weight loss that works... lose weight feel great.. etc.

Most of the time their commercials make comments such as "after using release my husband is more attracted to me..." etc.

well, this particular commercial says it is a great christmas gift.

Haha!!

No offense, but I do not know many men/women who would truly appreciate being called fat, by one they loved. or by having someone mention that they needed to lose weight. Even if somebody knows it, they don't want to hear it from others.

What the commercial is basically saying is that get your spouse/loved one these diet pills to make them feel better about themselves... bah, I don't think anyone but the actual person who is going to use them should buy them.

I made a post earlier, and I meantioned chubby people in it. I did not mean anything by it, and I certainly did not want to offend them, but just mentioning it made several people quite upset at me.

Now imagine what would happen if you bought somebody some of that stuff... for somebody, and you actually told somebody they should lose weight. wow, not a good idea.

I would also strongly advise against getting it as a gag gift for someone who's lightweight too... as they will still probably be insulted.

in the end all I have to say is what on earth was "Release" thinking when they made that commercials? maybe they're in cahoots with some divorce lawyers, or sofa makers. who knows, but it certainly wasn't very smart.

Nate

Photo Lesson

2004-12-08T17:04:00.000-06:00

I don't remember the scenery being that purple.

A couple of years ago my family went on a vacation to the Maine coast.

I'm quite into photography, so I had my old Minolta camera with me and was rapidly snapping up pictures. It's really beautiful out there, and I found that no matter where I went I could take a great picture.

while I love taking scenery pictures of all kind, my favorite are sunrise, and sunset pictures. so one day, we woke up really early (I practically had to drag the others out of bed) and after the prerequsite procrastinating by the others, we finally got in the little minivan and drove to the top of a mountain that was right by the ocean. all the way there it was getting lighter and lighter, I was muttering to myself "hurry up mom, please hurry up" I was also thinking... I was up early enough... grr. .. but anyway there wasn't much that could be done about it, my mom was not to be hurried on the winding roads, and we did eventually get up to the top. though we were about 15 minutes late. sigh.

I think my parents felt a little bad for me, cause after I had taken a few pictures (they were quite beautiful with wonderful colors), we were heading back down, and I would see something that was nice. and they would be quite willing to stop so I could take pictures.

I finished the roll, and was so excited about my assuredly wonderful pictures, that when I rewound my film, I held on to my film canister almost the whole ride (I'm very protective of my pictures). Somehow, in my absentmindedness (I think that's a word) I completely forgot about the roll... and as they were in my pants pocket, I washed them. sigh

when we got the roll developed I scurried to look at the picture. as I looked through them I again noticed the beautiful pictures so reminiscent of how I remembered it. except, they had a big purple streak through along the left side of the photo.

so if you ever take pictures and you want a purple streak on the left side... do what I did. take pictures, put em in you pocket and wash em. then develop them..

Which is worse?

2004-12-07T18:31:00.000-06:00

Potato chips are generally bad for you. so why do they go out of their way to make some of them disgusting too?

Let me start by saying that one of my favorite ways to spend a free evening (when I'm in a lazy mood) is to snack on potato chips. Yes, I know they're bad for me, and I'll probably end up with clogged arteries and die before the age of 40. Even so, I love potato chips (as long as I have something to drink cause they make me thirsty)

My favorite potato chips are ranch, sour cream and onion, cheese, or bbq. Recently I was looking through the store, and I noticed that they had salt &vinegar potato chips. can you say "yuck!!!" I mean, I've tasted vinegar before (only once, when I was being dumb) and it is awful.

I've heard that some people like these potato chips, but, I don't know how that could be the case. I mean, I've tried them and they're really bad. In fact, I bought a bag... made it through about ten chips and then tried to pass them off to the family (didn't work).

so what I'm trying to decide is this. which is worse? having to eat a bag of salt & Vinegar potato chips. or having to eat a bag of Au Gratin (my favorite kind of chip) that has been sitting out for a week, and is very stale. truth be told, I have no idea. much as I like Au Gratin... they really aren't very good when incredibly stale.

who knows, maybe I should take up eating the salt & vinegar chips. It would probably save my heart, as I would stop having any desire to eat potato chips. :)

Nate

Peanuts in a bottle

2004-12-06T16:27:00.000-06:00

A hilarious country song?

Yes

titled "Back when" this song by Tim McGraw is without a doubt funny, it talks about the differences between now and back then (probably back in the 50's/60's)

anyway there was one phrase in particular in the song that I did not get, at all... it said Peanuts in a bottle, at 10, 2, and 4. I mean, what on earth is he talking about? did they believe in bottle feeding tots peanuts? or perhaps peanuts were packaged in a bottle... and they ate them at 10, 2, and 4.

was I wrong or what.

I was listening to the radio, and it turns out somebody wrote asking what that reference meant. According to the spokesperson(trying to be politically correct) on the radio, in the old times, it was common practice that when one would first open up a bottle of pop (or soda, or coke for you southerners ;) that people would put some peanuts inside. then they would drink the pop. when they finished the carbonated beverage, they would then tip the bottle straight up and eat the peanuts.

and the at 10, 2, and 4 was the doctor pepper slogan, that you should drink a doctor pepper at 10, 2, and 4 (maybe those were lunch, recess, and after school)

anyway, I was wondering. what on earth could be the reason for dumping peanuts into a soda? did it make the pop taste better? and why on earth peanuts? that makes no sense.

I have heard that coca-cola can dissolve a bolt if given enough time. maybe they do that to dissolve the peanut.. hmm..

I should try it some time. If I can ever get up the guts... I mean, people back then were pretty smart weren't they? they had to have had a reason for it.

if any of you guys remembers doing this please let me know the reason. I'd love to learn :)

otherwise... I'll simply have to get up the guts and figure it out for myself... sigh, that could be tough.

Nate

I'm less mature than..

2004-12-05T18:47:00.000-06:00

I always thought when I was this age I would be soo much more mature than I really am.

when I was a lad (isn't that a great word) I always thought people who were in college were like these incredibly smart and mature people. I'm not entirely sure why, but I always thought that maturity was something that was incredibly desirable, perhaps I'm odd, but I have always desired to be mature. the problem is, being mature, seems to mean not having fun, at least in certain aspects... so sadly I've somewhat failed in that area.

anyway

I just turned 20 on thursday, and I got to thinking that life isn't at all what I thought it would be. I mean it is, but, at the same time I thought I would be this perfect guy, or at the very least I would always do what is right, because by the time you're twenty obviously you have everything figured out. I feel bad for making my younger version look bad, but I have realized that even 20 year olds don't have everything figured out (though sometimes we think we do). sigh, I wish I was half as perfect as I thought I would be.

In all reality this is part of the reason I like to work with kids (usually high schoolers, and jr. highers) because I know that many of them think that us older people are cool (at least college age are cool) so I figure if I have this ability to impress upon them things that I have learned why not right?

I just think that it's a generous gift that I have been given, to be looked up to by younger kids. even though I may have done nothing to deserve this, I think that it is important that I attempt to help them with problems in anyway that I can. 'cause lets face it, even though I may not have any exceptional qualities that sports stars have, I (as have most college students) have gone through many of the same problems that they have gone through, and I can empathize with them fairly well. :)

I was also looking ahead at what could be down the road. I mean, what will I be like as an old man. In my opinion, how we act from this day forward will change the outcome of what we will be like then.

I hope I'm a fun old man... maybe still hanging out with high schoolers :)

Yeah right!

Nate

Anonymity

2004-12-04T18:50:00.000-06:00

Anonymity - The quality or state of being unknown or unacknowledged.

Anonymity allows people to take off the masks they are perpetually wearing. for instance on a blog that nobody knows me, I can post whatever I think, and I don't have to try to be Politically Correct. I do not have to worry about offending anybody, or for that matter disappointing anybody because no one knows who I am anyway.

Isn't it interesting that whenever surveys are taken they are taken anonymously? it's because people are more true to themselves when they are not known.

There was a study done a while ago, where college students who didn't know each other were put into a well lit room, and then the lights were turned off. what happened was surprising. Many of the students did things that afterwards they said they couldn't imagine doing.

I suppose being anonymous is kind of like being drunk eh? (not that I would know) I mean being drunk gets rid of a lot of inhibitions...

I suppose the reason that being anonymous is so well liked, is because we get face-itch.

face-itch - ANW (a nate word) - the pain coming from wearing a mask all day long.

In other words we are also presenting ourselves to people and acting that we are someone and something. We pretend that we are what we want them to see... or in other words, one might pretend that he is a rough and tough guy, even though he's not that way at all. or she might pretend she's a girly girl, even though she has always hated makeup and would rather wear jeans and a t-shirt.

I think everybody does this. I.E. wears a mask to hide who they truly are. in this case anonymity is benifical in getting rid of the mask.

of course it is often discarded when around close friends... thank goodness.

Nate

Converse shoes

2004-12-03T14:07:00.000-06:00

Converse All*Stars

I would say there are very few other shoes that are as well known as the "chucks"

They definitely are not the shoe with the most cushion, one would not want to wear it playing tennis or basketball. They are also not one incredibly fashionable, one would not wear them to a formal dance, or black tie affair.

I finally bought a pair early last year, and I decided to wear them everywhere (I'm a guy, that's what I do...). I received quite a few comments from adults (people in their late 20's early 30's) reminiscing about their pairs of chucks while in high school.

I would almost say that buying a pair of these shoes almost put me into a group that I never knew existed. The owners of chucks group, which to my knowledge has never been formally started, and probably never will.

The thing that makes these shoes special is not their popularity, or their comfort, it is their styling. the styling is normal, it is middle of the road. It is nothing extravagent or show-offy, but at the same time they seem to have a sense of character, they allow you to be whoever you want to be. These shoes don't expect you to be some superstar basketball player, or some genius guy/gal, rather they simply expect you to be an average joe. I like that.

In my personal opinion thing thing that is special about converse shoes is that they are not special. it's like clothing, if I go shopping it's cool to find jeans and shirts that are nice, but they don't try to make me anything that I'm not. they let me just be me.

now if only people were that way. life would be good.

Nate

Snicker bars and Carrot Cake

2004-12-02T14:27:00.000-06:00

I love Old people, they're a lot of fun (usually) one of them has even smuggled me a snickers bar.

My senior year in high school I was on a trip with a choir group called esprit d' corps, our trip was down south, we visited churches in Missouri, Texas, Arkansas, and Kansas... it was a lot of fun, though my favorite memory comes from our visit to Arkansas.

let me explain things a little bit. it was a high school group and we would perform our skit/music show for free, as long as they would put us up for the night and give us one meal (usually about an hour before the performance). after the show we would go to our sponsors house (generally about two or three of us to a house (there were about 60 of us kids).

anyway, in arkansas we got the best sponsors ever, they were these two great old grandparents. they started telling us stories right away (turns out she had worked for Bill Clinton) and they gave us some carrot cake to snack on.

now, I don't mean this to offend anybody, but I find the accent the people have down there particularly hilarious (I'm sure they feel the same way about mine) and so when they were telling us these stories I just started talking with them, but I picked up their accent.

My friend Justin who was also staying with them was like "NATE!! stop! talk normal!"

I responded "I Can't" I felt bad about it, but I just couldn't talk normal... anyway the grandparents didn't notice and he stopped bugging me about that.

after a few minutes of talking the Older male (I can't remember his name for the life of me) opened a bag of snack sized snickers bars.

his wife was like. "don't give them that, they already have carret cake, we want them to be able to sleep tonight."

he didn't listen to her and gave us each one, and as the night continued as soon as her back was turned he would grab another bar for each of us and try to slide it to us. or sneakily he would slide it into his pockets, and when he would get to us he would put a finger to his lips and be like shh...

I couldn't help but laughing. I find it utterly hilarious to have a guy who must be 80+ smuggling me snicker bars.

Nate

P.S. now anytime I hear the word arkansas I automatically start talking with a goofy southern accent. sigh, I just can't help it

Androgynous

2004-12-01T17:19:00.000-06:00

Androgynous, adj : having both male and female characteristics.

Throughout our lives we have been taught that we should act like a boy or a girl (at least this is the case for most people) we hear things constantly such as, ooh you're such a pretty little lady (something I've never heard) or ooh you're strong (never really heard that either lol).

We are taught basically our entire lives that men are to be strong protectors. We are never supposed to Cry or listen. we are supposed to look at things in black and white, everything is fair and we need to follow the rules. One thing adults will usually comment on to boys is how smart they are, or how strong they are.

Women on the other hand are taught to be nurturers, and to be conversationalists. their system of judgement is more of what can we do to make everyone happy. One of the most important things that people will comment on to them is their charming personality, or their good looks.

There could be some argument about what I just said, but I think it's pretty accurate. with some exceptions of course. These would be children who are androgynous, or in other words, they might be very assertive go get-em girls, or they might be compassionate boys.

I know this was the case for me. I blame it on my mom, though there could be any number of reasons. I know when I was growing up I never got the opportunity to watch violence on tv, and we couldn't get G.I. Joes, because they were too violent. Instead of those, I played with Stuffed animals.

I also developed a love for reading, and after I had consumed all of the childrens books, I moved on to my mom's romance novels (this when I was 10-13). I don't know why, perhaps, I just read them cause my mom constantly got new books, so I always had something to read that I had never read before.

Once we did get a T.V. We couldn't watch much, so I watched tv whenever my mom would let us have it on. Guess what? my mom absolutely loved chick flicks *Gasp* ahh well... I have seen soo many of those.

It’s all my mom’s fault that I’m one of those guys that would rather chat then watch a football game. Sigh, I suppose it’s simply one of life’s little quirks.

Thus, if anybody wants to raise their child in a way that will avoid the societal norms… I suppose you could take advice from my mom. That is if you want to end up like me. :)

Nate

Is it right? and why?

2004-11-30T15:13:00.000-06:00

Why are some things right, or ok, Yet, other things that are very similar are wrong?

Everybody knows that smoking is bad for you. It'll kill you sooner or later, and we don't mind telling smokers that. We find there's nothing wrong with telling the smoker something to the effect of "Man, why do you smoke? That’s so disgusting, and it'll kill you too... don't you know what that does to you?" I admit, I've said such things myself, though not quite so rash... more of making comments like that I've heard every cigarette makes you lose 11 minutes of your life span. or other times I'll toss the smoker a mint when he/she comes back in to help their breath. That's perfectly acceptable in today’s standards (In My Opinion)

My question is... if we can jump all over smokers... why can we not say something like this to "Obese" people. "Hey fatty, why don't you cut down on what you eat and exercise like the rest of us. Don't you know that being overweight is the second leading cause of preventable death?"

thing is, it sounds horrible to say that to a fat person... it's so incorrect and rude, but is it not virtually the same as saying it to a smoker?

I think partially, some of the reason it's not politically acceptable to ridicule an overweight person is because, in some cases the reason they're overweight is genetic, and we don't want to hurt their feelings. :( Well, boohoo.

I'll tell you what, I'm not underweight... but I look like it. and for some reason people always get the idea that they can comment on my skinniness all the time. I remember this one time I was eating, a chicken breast (I only had one... wasn't hungry for some reason) and this one lady comes by and says... that's all you're eating no wonder you're so thin. I looked at her (she was/is kind of large) and then I looked at what she ate and I thought "no wonder you're so large." did I say it? No, of course not. it’s not polite to mention weight when they’re fat. But it’s fine to mention that other people look really skinny… this world is so messed up.

so the question is. Why is it ok for us to go after smokers like that? Like I said, I have jumped on them for smoking and have always thought it’s ok.

or on the other hand, if it's ok for us to say that stuff to smokers, should we also be able to say it to fat people?

I got this idea from "Super-size Me"... pretty good movie (though some fast food isn't all bad)

Nate

Arrested for perfume

2004-11-29T17:20:00.000-06:00

A woman in my hometown was recently arrested for wearing too much perfume.

nope, I'm not kidding.

According to the man who had her arrested (he also happened to be her husband) she was using the fragarences (including air fresheners, perfumes, scented everything) as a method of torture. he claims he has a rare disorder that makes him not able to stand certain chemicals. It makes him go through a lot of pain...

all I have to say is WOW.

it turns out the guy just got 150,000 dollars for a workers comp settlement, the couple was planning on splitting up, and the man didn't want to give the wife half of the settlement. The guy did have a note from his doctor saying that he really did have this disease. So that's why they were able to arrest her for it.

hmm, seems to me I'd have a hard time being the police officer and responding to the complaint. I mean, what're you going to say? Ma'am you're under arrest for smelling too good around your husband. hehe... that would be rather difficult, I'd almost burst out laughing. if I were the wife I'd be like "heh, are you serious?"

Either way, I think that's pretty ridiculous. I mean, first off, say the woman is being petty, and is doing that intentionally... still that is no reason to have her arrested. he can have a restraining order put on her if he wanted. but having her arrested? that just cost the taxpayers a lot of money for no reason. And the wife shouldn't have done that in the first place (if she did) because if she really wanted the money she probably could have gotten it out of divorce court.

still, I'm just glad I wasn't the police officer that arrested her. Man, some people can be so silly

Bad sticks out

2004-11-28T22:34:00.000-06:00

I work at a fast food restaurant.

ok, I got it out. (it's rather embarrassing considering what it seems people in general think about it) anyway, at work I noticed that when a customer is really mean or rude, it happens quite often, (not just to me) I remember it. like there was this one lady, I can't remember her name, but she came in and she wore these huge red glasses. When she came in she complained that she didn't get enough sauce. ok, fine, we dealt with that, and then she just kept complaining. Almost one month later, she came in. I saw her as soon as she walked in the door, and I was like CRAP. I do not want to take her order, she is just going to complain again. (she did).

Meanwhile, I have had many gracious and nice customers as well, but, I have found that it takes at least 4 or 5 visits for me to start remembering them. Well, sometimes it's less, like if they order a very unique item... and if they always order the same thing its easier, but it's funny how when I see nice people, or people who thank me... and try to get to know me, it is less likely for me to remember them than those that are mean.

In an American Government class I had, we discussed why it is that politicians will spend more time and money attacking the opponent rather than either talking about the issues, or trying to build himself up. The reason, as a study has shown, is that hearing bad things about somebody is more likely to make an impact on the voters.

what does this tell me??? It tells me that I should never be a politician, because, my parents would kill me, if I started publicly berating a fellow guy on TV. or radio or whatever. I mean, I could be a politician, I just would have to talk about the issues, which obviously isn't that important. (In my opinion, that's the problem with having an election which is just a popularity contest.)

I know this is probably stretching it... but...

I think it's kind of funny that a lot of girls go for "Bad Guys" maybe they want to feel important. or they want to stick out in people's mind. :)

I know that's probably not why... but this late at night the logic makes sense to me.

Nate

Evil is Good?

2004-11-27T22:31:00.000-06:00

Going back to my sociology class once again, we discussed the theory that Evil is Good. I found the concept very interesting though most of my classmates completely thought it was impossible. it is a paradox is it not? I mean, how can something that is evil be good?

There's a song by the band "Ceili Rain" entitled "Long for you" anyway, the whole theory of the song is that This must be the case because this is the case. for example, I know there is air, cause I'm breathing. I know there is Love, cause I love you. and it continues with several other examples.

Thus my thinking is this. If there was no evil in this world, how would we know what good is? I mean, if there was no ground, how would we know what the sky is? If we are enveloped in something then we have nothing to compare it to. If anyone has ever tried to explain to a blind man what the color purple looks like they know what I am talking about. When trying to define something we must have something to compare it to. if we had no evil then what would we compare good to?

Now I'm not saying that we should start accepting evil. I believe it is still very wrong, but my belief is that evil serves an important function to society. Without it we would have no good.

So I suppose I am glad that there is evil in this world, if for a very selfish reason, cause it makes a guy like me seem good, and I enjoy that feeling. :)

Nate

The Clock is mine

2004-11-26T15:11:00.000-06:00

I never knew that I owned that clock, until my professor told me that I did. but, it must be mine, right?

let me back up

One of the classes that I am taking this quarter is teaching me all about how bad guys are (I never knew I was such a jerk) one of the things that my professor said is that when a guy (I.E. Me) stares at something, he claims it as his (she included sexual object.. but I don't think that fits for a clock) so I guess the clock in that room must be mine. I stare at it everytime I am in there, you would think that it would move a little faster, but I think I got the slowest clock of them all. sigh, what rotten luck.

oh yeah, and I also learned why girls smile more than guys. I mean, obviously it's not cause they're happy, that would be silly. according to my prof the reason is that... Smiling is a sign of submission. therefore girls are expected to smile more from birth because they're expected to submit to males. whoda thunked, maybe I should try to stop being such a happy go lucky guy.

personally I have to question her theory of smiling = submission, because people from the western hemispere (particularly the U.S. ) smile a lot more than people from other countries, and I do not think the reason is because we are submitting to them. otherwise, I surely doubt that we would be a world superpower.

I thought I would learn a lot out of this class, and as one would have it I have. I now know that I shall never again stare at a clock, and I need to stop smiling... especially at cute girls :)

Nate

You get the Honor...

2004-11-25T18:17:00.000-06:00

Honor

The word inspires awe. People have lived for it, died for it, killed for it, fought because of it. It is one of the things that if challenged in a man will cause him to do unbelievable things. In many circles there is nothing higher than honor.

Why then do I not care all that much about it? I mean... if somebody says "You Get the honor of..." I almost always am like "ah shucks" well, not necessarily those exact words, but something similar to be sure. It seems to me that people nowadays use the word "Honor" very lightly I mean, when they say "you get the honor of..." they almost always end it with something like "taking out the trash" or "washing the dishes" or any other really disliked jobs. For me one of those jobs in particular that I have gotten the "Honor" of doing is Washing out the garbage cans. no offense to the wonderful person who gave me that honor... but if I had the choice, you can be sure I would have given that honor back to the person who was giving it out.

My opinion is that honor should be reserved. it should be something to be proud of. I believe it's kind of like love, it's a word that currently is over used. When it is seriously meant it is something that is obviously there. The person that truly has honor, and the person that is truly "In Love" doesn't need to say it for it to obviously be the case. How obvious is it that a person cleaning out trash cans is a man of honor?

Well, that's just my ramblings... I know it's thanksgiving and, most people are writing up lists of what they are thankful for. but I was just thinking that honor is one thing that we have lacked as our country has evolved... particularly towards the native americans... :)

hey at least on the brightside... I have been given honor many times.. right?

Nate

Invincebility, and getting old

2004-11-24T19:13:00.000-06:00

Invincibility - The lack of belief in ones ability to die (that's my definitition) .

I've thought about this subject from time to time, and I have always in the back of my mind thought that I am indeed invincible. In twenty years of living on this earth I have never broken a bone in my body, not that I have ever tried to. everything about me just keeps getting better and better. I'm stronger, smarter, faster (though not by much) than I was as an infant. yes surely I am invincible.

Truthfully, I would never have admitted to thinking such an outrageous idea, for I would have been quite scared of the most assured laughter and embarrassment that such a proclamation would have brought about. But, I thought it. I figured sure everyone else get's old, but it's not going to happen to me is it? I mean, look at me... I just keep getting better and better.

Unfortunately, I have come to the ultimate conclusion that I am not invincible, at least not on this earth. According to the newspaper (The Lincoln Journal Star) 80% of people have back pain. and as I found out yesterday I am one of them. Nothing like a little pain to prove that I'm not invincible eh?

I'm thinking that it means I'm beginning to get old. Before you know it I'll be yelling at people on park benches telling them that the bench they're sitting on is my bench. I have to feed the birds. Perhaps I'll be the type to swing my cane at them and say "Back when I was your age we listened to our elders, and did not take their benches."

Perhaps I will be a nice old guy, going to fast food restaurants and giving the employee a 50 cent tip, because he/she (probably if it's a she and I'm flirting) and tell her to get a candy bar with it or something to that effect.

Maybe, I would be the guy that would come into burger king with a McDonalds coupon and order a filet mignon... then I would continue to be arrogant and claim that Burger King was ripping me off and I did indeed have a coupon for a Filet Mignon for $1.99 (which was actually a coupon for 2 cheeseburgers and a french fry.

sigh, the funny thing is... you can get away with a lot as an old person. who knows, if I maintain a sense of humor being an old person be such a bad thing. sad thing is, even though I'm getting old with a bad back, most people think I'm still a youngster... and I still have to... I mean want to, be nice to all of those old people.

Nate

a place to think

2004-11-23T18:54:00.000-06:00

I believe every single person needs a place to think, a place where one can go to organize their thoughts think things through and just make sense of thoughts.

According to most TV movies I would think that everyone would have a little rock overlooking a nice pond underneath a shade tree creating the perfect scenic place for one to contemplate lifes meaning. Life isn't a TV show though, and my spot isn't a rock underneath a tree. I have an 8 foot hoop, with a little youth basketball... this spot is very special and thus I only use it when things have really taken a turn for the worse. For instance when I found out my Grandma died, or when I have relationship problems with friends, basically when life starts to suck I go outside and just bounce that ball. I think it's nice cause it gives me a feeling of power. I know that I have control, I can change the future of where that ball goes. I have the power to smash the poor defenseless little ball against the pavement or through the hoop. sigh, it's a special place that almost anybody can drive by and not even see anything more than a palate of cement with a basketball hoop. But to me it has a special value that can never be replaced.

Nate

The Cowboy hat

2004-11-22T18:15:00.000-06:00

Sitting on the top of my microwave it looks lonely, when I see it I almost feel guilty. I purchased it almost 2 years ago, for what other purpose than for a girl. I always greeted her with a howdy so she started calling me a cowboy, or more accurately an urban cowboy.

When I first decided to get a cowboy hat I started looking on ebay, because there are very few places here in lincoln that sell cowboy hats. I searched for days until I finally found it. It wasn't actually a cowboy hat, more technically it's a "western" style hat, I think the reason is because the brim doesn't bend up as much. I had always heard of stetson so when I found out this was one I immediately placed my bid and won it. sigh, such rash decisions.

I wore it when I went out to visit her, I thought it was oh so cool, and I think she liked it... but that time has passed. I'm back at home, and sitting by my Cowboy hat, the girl is gone, yet the hat remains... I feel sorry for it, I mean after all, it's a Stetson, it is a true cowboy hat. not one of those incredibly cheap or silly decorative one, this was a real cowboy hat, and here it is just sitting upside down (it saves the brim) on a microwave stand. It still has some of its character left. It still seems to be screaming, "I'M A STETSON" but the yell is fading. It looks to be ready for a long rainstorm, or to shield it's owner from the hot sun yet again, but alas, it will probably never do that with me as its owner. What have I done to the poor hats seemingly useful life. what a waste...

I still wear the hat from time to time, when I go square dancing, or if I want to stand out. I think it looks good on me, and others agree, but this is no life for a cowboy hat. Especially a Stetson.

Spring loaded 12 packs

2004-11-21T15:36:00.000-06:00

I was at Hy-Vee this afternoon and wandering through the pop (that's what I call it) section of the store, I noticed an abnormality. Sitting on the bottom layer were 12 packs of generic store brand pop 2 for $5.00 (for the math troubled people that's 2.50 each or about 20.8 cents a can) meanwhile the six-packs held together with the flimsy piece of plastic were 89 cents which equals appx. 15 cents a can, so basically, in the end, you save 1/4th of the price by purchasing them in 6 packs. It brought me to thinking, is there something special about the boxes that would make them worth the extra cost? what could it be that would make someone pay that extra price, when they could be choosing a wider variety for a cheaper price by purchasing the 6-packs.

I honestly have no idea, but it must be something awfully special, like, perhaps a spring at the bottom of the box that you can push a button and the can of pop would come flying at you. so you don't have to bend over and pick it up. it could be "good for the back, and still fits in the refrigerator" (not that those two things make sense together... but with marketing schemes today.. who knows) just to check this theory out I decided to spend the extra money and I purchased a 12 pack of Cream Soda (the best kind of pop there is) I got home and immediately tore the box apart and searched for the springs, or anything that would make it worthwhile to have spent the extra money. As the seconds turned to minutes I began to realize that there was no such luck. I was not going to find anything special about this box, beyond the bright coloring (it was tan) and it being cardboard. The search goes on. why oh why would they charge so much extra, my opinion now is that it must be a conspiracy, to fill their pockets and to take advantage of the mathmatically challenged people out there. so to let you know. do Do NOT buy the pop at 2 for $5.00 it is a rather bad deal.

not sure

2004-11-21T00:05:00.000-06:00

Have you ever had this feeling that your life could turn out one of two ways... you could end up taking the high road and your life would end up with a wife, 2.3 kids a nice house with a mortgage, car in the driveway... bla bla... or you could party and stuff a lot... take the low road, end up a bachelor or a pimp... something to that effect maybe married with 5 divorces under your belt... and just living a crappy life?

seems pretty much like a random thought... but I think that I'm at the point in time in my life that is the turning point between those two choices... but, the surprising thing (to me) is that I don't know which one I will be. sometimes I can see myself as right up there... being a goody two-shoes like I always have been. and sometimes I wonder if I'll just totally rebel against my raising, and turn out like that second guy... it's not that I really want to turn out like him, it's just that for one of the first times in my life I'm starting to see things as not as bad as I used to see them... for a long time in my life I always saw say drinking as this horrible event of the devil. now I'm like meh, it's not that bad. and that is the case for several things... I mean this sounds pathetic to most people I'm sure, but I actually almost smoked a stogie... which is shocking for me... I mean, I'm the one who's always coughing at people when they're smoking... and I'm the one who makes fun of people for smoking cause I think it's soo gross... and now I'm sitting here thinking about doing it myself??? what's wrong with me? why am I thinking like this.

I dunno.. life is weird isn't it? sometimes it seems so big and important... other times it seems small and pathetic... where nothing really matters as much as everyone says it does or should.. where things in life that some say are sacred and you wonder... are they really? why? meh.. I hate it when I think this way... I know that things are important... but... sigh

I think I don't have a whole lot more eto say on that subject...

New Job?

2004-11-20T16:29:00.000-06:00

Well, I just got off of work, worked with this girl named chelsea, who drives me nuts sometimes, cause she smokes soo often, but that's ok. She's a hard worker which is always nice, she started talking about being a server at "Granite City" which is a pretty nice resteraunt here in town, I think I'm going to apply there and put her name on the application. She said she would put in a good word for me, it would be nice to work there and make some decent money compared to what I'm making at amigos... besides it would also be really nice to get another job besides amigos. I think that when I transfer it would be a lot easier to get another serving job if I already have had serving experience... So I'm going to give it a shot. we'll see what shakes :)

that's about it for now..

Nate

Monotony

2004-11-20T16:28:00.000-06:00

Life seems to be an endless monotony. I mean, it seems like every week is the same school, work, sleep, all that sort of stuff. I think that the only real changes can be seen on a broader picture. For instance, last year was much different than this year... of course if you look back over my posts I've discussed that.

today in school went pretty well, I had a debate in American Government which I totally kicked butt in... I think I got 5 points extra credit (out of 5) for that... which is always nice, because our tests are worth a lot of our grade... though truthfully that five points is only a 1 percentage point increase in my final grade... but that's ok. it'd make what would be a 94 turn into a 95... hahaha not quite that high, but you get the picture.

tonight I get to work the graveyard shift, which means I'll be working from 9pm until around 3am which is always lots of fun *rolling eyes* sigh, monotonous

Free Parking

2004-11-20T16:27:00.001-06:00

I think it's funny, almost, cause it seems like every time I feel like writing in here I'm either too tired... so I end up deciding not to... or I just don't have the time cause I have to go to work or school... but today I am going to write in here, so there :)

yesterday was for me about 19 hours long... I started with school, then I went to work... then I went to a different work (same store different location) meh, it was ok all in all... just really long. at the first one when I went to work one of the girls there was selling tickets to the husker game for pretty cheap. so I bought those after I called jason... (to see if he would go with me) he ended up doing it... though when he decided to he had forgotten that was the day for him and his wife to hang out just the two of them. I felt pretty bad about sorta coming between that... but then again I needed somebody to go with me... they ended up deciding to have "their" day be tomorrow, so it should work out. though I must say, if I were jason, I would be trying to remember these better, or he should be. because, I can guaruntee you that his wife probably wouldn't appreciate having him forget every time. It seems to me that'd make her think it wasn't that important to him. ahh well, the tickets thing did happen pretty quickly. and it only happened one time so I think it was probably ok.

what else happened... hmm... well, chris said that a girl asked for his phone number in drive thru (which is pretty unusual... so I'm impressed (though, he was wearing my nametag... so maybe she thought it was me lol, not likely.. but possible) anyway last night I gave my number away, but that was only because we were gonna hang out after the game or something... I think she and I were both tired because we never ended up calling each other.

anyway, I got home this morning at around 4am and I had to get up for the game at around 9 or so... so after my 19 hour day I got about 5 hours of sleep (which isn't too bad) but, when that is combined with going to the game and stuff... I was just, as my mom would say,
tuckered out" so I went back to jasons and took a nap... then I was like... well, I can sleep at home just as well as I can at jasons, so I went home and slept

oh yeah, the huskers won... womped em actually, though baylor sure did move the ball pretty well, which was disappointing. the game was really fun, I just wish it wasn't soo cold.

one nice thing was that since we got there so early we actually found a parking spot on a street, and all around people were charging 5-10 dollars for a parking spot. so I was like muahahaha, free parking!!! it almost felt like I was playing monopoly.

Nate

2004-11-20T16:27:00.000-06:00

well, I think I'm going to go ahead and update this journal... though there isn't much new going on in my life. except for trying to stay caught up in school, which is rather difficult there's lots of reading, each chapter in lifespan is like 40 pages. (lots of reading.. and big pages) and sociology is the same... and then there's american govt. which is 20 pages... and I have to read 1 chapter of each every 2 days. bah, I just realized that tomorrow in sociology, we have a "library day" where we go to the library and they show us how to search for books and stuff... and I'm like this is suuch a waste of time. I mean, first off, it's not exactly rocket science on how to use the library computers. but secondly I've already had a library class.. I could just skip, but I don't want an absence on my record... you know... every time I show up helps.. or something like that. but it is tempting...

Nate

Women and God

2004-11-20T16:25:00.000-06:00

I had this realization today that when I want to be friends with a person I will persue them... or in other words, I will try to hang out with them on a regular basis and I go the extra step to get to know them. It's not that I stalk them.. lol, just that I kind of choose my friends... I know with Megan for example, that when she was out here, I would call her, or email her, and try to hang out with her all of the time, as an attempt to get to know her really well, and become friends (and maybe more was the goal) well, that worked pretty well, we became very good friends, and we became pretty close. anyway, when I told Megan I liked her she asked me if I had talked to God about it. at the time I kind of blew her off... thinking what would God have to say? I mean I've talked to him... but he hasn't really answered one way or the other (I'm thinking it's the wrong time for sure.. or it was) so anyway I've been really struggling with my walk with the Lord.. I have a lot of head knowledge of him, but my heart knowledge... and my intimacy with him have been really struggling... and I was realizing that I've become close with megan, and I became close with natalie, because of the amount of time I would spend chatting with them, and getting to know them, And God is can be soo much closer to me, he is perfect, and I should attempt to persue God with as much or more zeal than I do persuing a human like megan or like I did with nat. (though with nat it was a bit different.. but still)So I guess the thing I need to learn is...

Persue God, with as much or more zeal as I use to persue friends or females.

Work Sucks!!!

2004-11-20T16:24:00.001-06:00

lol, I think the subject heading says it all. Work really sucks sometimes, and otnight was one of those sometimes, thankgoodness it's over. Finally. it wasn't that bad for most of it actually, sure we were short a person who had no called no showed, but she was just training and all. however that all changed at about 9:20 when there were three of us in the store, me megan and val (val is really really slow) and we got a huge rush. val was by herself on drive thru(when she's there she can't do anything else cause she's not very good) megan was on rail (in other words, making the food, she's pretty good but not as good as me at that.. lol) and I (otherwise known as superman) was up front... well, prior to all these people coming in I thought I was going to get out of there in like 10 minutes... because, after all, I am superman, and I had been working really hard to get it good. however the rush came and I didn't get to do anything till 10 when we closed... and I got to start all over again, 'cause all of the tables were dirty, and the floors had to be swept again, Ice had to be filled... everything. and the rush sucked too, I had twenty people in line, just me working up front, and I had to take orders run orders, apologize for the wait... make shakes and all that crap.. sigh.. lets just say.. tonight work sucked. ok, I know why we got the rush, it turns out there was a Lincoln vs. Lincoln football game that just everybody had to go to. The thing is we had two cops working (whom we have to pay 60 dollars each) and I'm like... if we payed the extra 60 bucks to get the second one... why couldn't we have scheduled another person up front... or something.. that would have been nice. ya know what I mean? lol...

Nate

Country Music?

2004-11-20T16:24:00.000-06:00

I love country music.. maybe that makes me weird but I think it's soo awesome. Of course part of it is the fact that I'm an endless romantic, and many of the songs are getting to be about love, and how it is soo possible it's about love that's gone right. I was realizing the other day that whenever I listen to country music it makes me incredibly happy. not just see you on the flip side happy, more of a Jumping for joy kind of happy. the kind of happy that can't contain itself. When I listen to country it makes me start singing along and I am just instantly happier. usually anyway.. sometimes though it makes me kind of sad... like when I think about past relationships, and what's gone on in them... and it makes me think of those people that don't like country... which is really sad... lol.. actually it just bugs me a lot cause it's all about relationships, and sometimes the memories it brings back are kind of sad. Which brings something else to mind, after my last relationship and stuff, I really hope that the girl that I end up with is somewhat romantic. it would be soo cool if we are both that way, cause I just love that sweet kind of thing, which I think is somewhat unusual for a guy, but it's soo awesome... I just can't get enough of it.. sigh ok, enough of that stuff...

this is suuchh an awesome song, I would thouroughly recommend it, "Wrinkles" by Diamond Rio. basically it's about how wrinkles and stuff are a sign of time and true love... I don't know how true that is... but its a cool thought. I think... ooh now it's a new song (I have a somewhat legal library of music on my computer this one is the country version of "I Swear" it's performed by John Michael Montgomery. very sweet song... hehe that's the kind of song I want at my wedding... is a country song... some of them are so sweet. though I must say that Kim&Jason's choice of songs was pretty good. They had one by Micheal W. Smith called... I will be there for you.. very sweet.. sigh.. brings back soo many memories, man, one of my good friends getting married... sniff.. ahh well

All this talk about wedding music brings back to my mind a statement in "The Wedding Planner" where she makes guesses as to how long a couple will last based on which song they chose.. quite interesting, I wonder if that actually workes. My guess is no.. but who knows.. lol well, I think I'm just blabbering so I'll shut up now.. lol leave a comment if you'd like :)

He's Married

2004-11-20T16:23:00.000-06:00

Well, yesterday jason really did get married... (I don't think I posted about that yesterday) it was really a pretty good wedding. though it's a bit of a bummer, I was really tired the whole entire time because of a lack of sleep. though granted I did get a jolt of awakeness during the actual wedding ceremony.. but more on that in a minute. anyway, I got to up at around 8:15 and took a really long cold shower. that woke me up pretty good.. then I talked to dad a bit, and at 9:45 took off for the church ready for jasons wedding... dressed in a pair of shorts and a t-shirt (I was a groomsman.. so naturally I was all set) I had left my tuxedo in the back of jasons car, so I was looking around for him.. but he wasn't there. he showed up about 15 minutes later (he had had pictures taken at a romantic little park with kim (yes he saw her before his wedding)and got dressed real quick... just as an FYI. tux's are a real pain to put on, they with all the stupid jewelry and stuff.. lol, though I must admit, I look quite studly in them. we got lots of pictures taken with Jason and kim and everyone and then we ate... and finally the real wedding. the pastor was John Matzke, our sr. High pastor, and he started of joking around a bit in the service to keep the mood somewhat light, and then he got serious... but when Jason had to start saying his vows... man it was just soo sweet, and his sister was standing right there with tears just pouring down her face. kim was looking at him so sweetly.. sigh.. he was really nervous and choked up I think, cause he couldn't get the words out very well. he could see his sister so he tried to be smiling and stuff, to get her to stop bawling, but he couldn't very well. then it was Kim's turn to repeat the vows, and she did so really well, though she was crying too (I think she's taken a speech class or something and knows how to keep her voice pretty smooth even if she's not that way emotionally) the whole thing was soo sweet I got choked up myself and started crying a bit. sigh... anyway, they made it through.

The Recption was probably the shortest reception I've ever been to, of course, I've only been to about one reception... but I was talking to some others, and they said it was really short as well it was kinda weird because lots of people left before the bride and groom left... I thought that was pretty strange. we decorated jasons car up real nice.. cause that's just how we are.. muahaha.. Ben Jasmer (the best man) made a great toast... ending with something to the effect of "I've been jasons best friend for a long time but now he has met you kim, and I very humbly and respectfully step down as his best friend and give that position up to you" or something pretty close.. it was really sweet. jason was just tearing up again, as was kim... sigh... really sweet. (I'm into that sort of thing.. kinda odd for a guy I suppose, but... whatcha gonna do)

It's kinda weird to think about the whole thing though, I mean he's one of my good friends, he obviously cares about me yet I can't help but almost feel like I've lost a friend. I know I didn't, because we'll still hang out, and stuff.. we'll still be friends, it just seems weird. I think something that is pretty normal is that the whole time I was watching it I was thinking, I wonder how it'll be if/when I get married. I wonder what I'll be like, and how the whole thing will go... with my luck I'll probably find a girl that just wants to elope, and thus will never know the feeling. but that's to be found out... thing is normally the day is just for the girl, but I think in my case, it'd be partially for me too, cause that's one thing I truly do want (to get married in a church). lol.. weird eh?

well, that's about it I suppose.. if I think of more I'll probably post again.. lol "you haven't heard the last of me"

Nate

Jason's Gettin married

2004-11-20T16:22:00.001-06:00

well, this has been a pretty darn long day for me... I'm gonna be going to bed pretty soon, gotta get up at 8:30 so that's in like 4 hours.. lol.. probably shouldn't even be writing this.. ok, you know what? that friend chris was talking about is really bugging me... I just want to smack him upside the head... ahh well

I had the rehearsal tonight.. it's kinda funny jason (the guy who is getting married) well, his sister is a bridesmaid.. and I'm the one who's supposed to walk with her.. so he would always be like, now nate.. don't get any ideas (she used to have a crush on me.. can't blame her.. I'm darn cute lol j.k.) I just find that funny, seeing as she's about 3 years younger than me.. which with how old I am, is a big age difference. but anyway, I just find it funny. lol, I feel soo sorry for his fiancee (soon to be bride/wife) cause he's soo out of it.. I mean you can ask him what time the wedding is at tomorrow and he'll be like.. umm... nate??? whens the wedding at tomorrow? we were up on the stage and we were just rehearsing the whole thing.. and he was soo anxious and worried... and I was like.. just imagine what it'll be like tomorrow.. when it isn't just a rehearsal or anything. lol, that could be bad.. but I'm sure he'll do ok, and it's not like any of his parts are very difficult, he just has to read back to the pastor what the pastor tells him first.. seems rather easy.

it also seems kinda interesting to me that I've never been to a wedding before, so I don't know the whole thing that is supposed to be done or what not... so john (that's the pastor's name) was telling us to bend our knees and lean back a bit, and I'm like... okkk why would we do that.. well, it turns out that the whole sermon thing and stuff last for almost an hour, so we're standing in one spot for around an hour.. that's quite a while in my opinion. anyway.. it's almost five.. I'm gonna go to bed now..

Nate

hey zeus

2004-11-20T16:22:00.000-06:00

today.. hmm... well, it's been interesting.. at the moment I'm counting last night in the mix as well (from 9pm on). I was working with this guy named "Jesus" (pronounced hey zeus) arrghhh he frustrates me soo much. I think he is one of they guys who frustrates me more than anyone else. well, Nejuan does too... but that's somebody from another store.. sigh.. well, anyway what frustrates me so much about him is the fact that he can practically not read tickets, which makes it very difficult to make food, cause he is constantly forgetting to make certain items... (not good), in drive thru we are expected to get an average time of between 2-3 but he was handing out orders on 9's (that's the amount of minutes that it takes to go from the person ordering to them getting their food) and this is utterly pathetic... it's also really frustrating to be handing out the food and to always be saying.. I'm sossrry for the wait.. I'm sorry for the wait.. but anyway.. after that I'd be like.. "man.. you gotta read your tickets... you gotta be able to keep up" and he's like...I had to do this and that... and I'm like... whatever.. then he's always singing and yelling really loud for no reason. and then beyond that.. this other girl I work with over there, I actually get along with, but all of last night instead of working on the close she was on her stupid cell phone... (which you can work while on a cell phone.. I mean it is possible) which slowed her down a lot.. so i was the only one unimpeded by going really slow, but there were always cars in drive thru which I had to deal with cause of "hey zeus" arrghhh... so frustrating.

at least today was a bit better so far.. haven't really done much... talked on the phone for a while.. always enjoyable :D

Nate

First Post

2004-11-20T15:21:00.000-06:00

hey... this is my first post on blogspot, we'll see how things go... I had another online journal so I will bring some of those posts over here... to get myself started... feel free to comment.

Nate